Menu

Episode 93

You Made It Weird

Kumail Nanjiani Returns

user avatar

You Made It Weird #93: Kumail Nanjiani Returns

Kumail Nanjiani (Letterman! Comedy! The FIRST YMIW Guest!) comes back to discuss so so so many things. Toothpicks, love, comedy, faith, all of it. It’s all in here. Just a great and wonderful, special episode. If you enjoy it half as much as Pete did, you’re going to lose your minds. HOORAY, WEIRDOS!! Come see us tape our ONE HOUR COMEDY CENTRAL specials in Austin on October 23rd and 24th! Be there, please!! I promise a good time, possibly a hug. YES!

Follow @kumailn on Twitter and click here to get tickets to his Comedy Central special taping on October 24th!

Austin Weirdos- Get FREE tickets to Pete’s Comedy Central special taping on October 23rd!

Follow @peteholmez on Twitter and Like the show on Facebook. Buy YMIW shirts and Pete’s album “Impregnated with Wonder”!

Support the show by clicking on the banner below and shopping at Amazon.com!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tags , ,

65 comments

  • “There’s nothing worse than calling a woman sweetheart as she’s tasting shaving cream on your dick.” is officially the best thing I’ve heard all day. Free podcast people.

  • One thing I’d really like to say is the fact that before obtaining more personal computer memory, consider the machine in to which it is installed. In the event the machine is usually running Windows XP, for instance, a memory threshold is 3.25GB. Using greater than this would simply constitute any waste. Make certain that one’s mother board can handle the upgrade quantity, as well. Thanks for your blog post.

  • During your conversation about why would God judge someone negatively if they have a tumor or some improper chemical balance in their brain making them do immoral stuff, I think it is more of a heart issue than a brain issue. If they feel compelled to do evil things, but know in their heart that it is wrong, they should find help. I feel that God forgives these people. If they know that it is wrong and they act on it anyway, I don’t think God will be so lenient on them. Just my two cents.

  • @Joe, the whole issue is that their brain is compromised. Despite the turn of phrase “know in your heart,” our hearts don’t actually know anything. So any critical thinking you attribute to one’s heart is still one’s brain, which is being messed with by a tumor. If you assume God is going to judge them at all, then you have to assume God changed/formed their brain (or added the tumor) to think this way in the first place. To which I say, “WTF God?”

  • This episode had it all. Gross jokes told from a safe place, heartfelt sentiment and juicy philosophy talk. I loved the way Kumail described that sense of wonder at the natural working of the universe. How awesome is it that a couple of meatbags could produce such a fun conversation?

  • @Brian – I believe in God and science. I don’t believe that God is that “hands on”. If someone is chemically imbalanced or is stricken with cancer, that’s genetics or environmental. As long as a person is raised morally, I believe that their conscience should be able to determine if what they are about to do is right or wrong. Now, you can make an argument if the part of their brain that affects conscience has been compromised.

    I think most people have suffered from depression at one time or another. That is a chemical reaction happening in the brain. Dark thoughts can come with that. I feel like most people can step back from those thoughts and tell themselves to stop. I think Kumail brought up the example of the guy that was having thoughts about pedophilia and went to the doctor for help. His “heart” told him what he was thinking was wrong. That’s what I feel makes the difference when it comes to God’s judgment.

  • You made it weird is not just a hilarious comedy podcast, it is pure therapy. Every episode makes me laugh, think, grow and sometime cry.

    The latest episode with Kumail Nanjiani was the pinnacle of pure human emotional growth. Every episode I listen to makes me want to be a better person and see the world in a better light, but being able to take part in the conversation between Pete and Kumail was inspirational and possibly life changing.

    I want to thank you Pete for letting us all take part in something so personal and meaningful.

  • My favorite episode ever. Covered so many emotions. Please tell Kumail he is an American. (he said he didn’t think of himself as one) I think hes way American. Like mega American. He makes me feel less Amercian.

  • @Joe – Insisting on calling another part of the brain “the heart” just conflates the issue. You’re imparting this section of the brain with the power and control to override other parts unilaterally if the individual just “tries really hard”. Does this notion have any basis in scientific fact? The difference between the guy being a pedophile and his ability to sort out why he’s feeling that way would’ve been erased had the tumor spread (or he’d just die suddenly). In essence, he had a time limit he was working against, albeit unknowingly. God’s Window of Judgement, perhaps? This is another example of putting God in the position of what’s unknown, which makes him/her no more special than any placeholder variable in science (of which there are quite a few). Except in science we have a reason to put the variable there, and we can design experiments to test them.

  • Look guys, I’m telling you right now, astral projection is real. I tried it several times about 10 years ago. Only once did it work and I didn’t make it all the way. It took me about 30 minutes. I was laying down and started to feel myself quickly slipping upward, but my body wasn’t going anywhere. I got so terrified that I stopped concentrating and it felt like I was literally dropped onto the bed from the ceiling. Needless to say, I never tried it again. Astral projection could be amazing, but I’m way too horrified to totally let go.

  • @Brian – I don’t want to turn this into an argument over the existence of God. I believe and if you don’t, that’s okay. I conceded the idea of the tumor spreading. What I’m saying is that if the morality center of the brain is blocked or damaged and the person ends up acting on an immoral impulse that they can’t control, I think that God would show leniency and weigh that differently. How He would go about that, I’m not sure. However, if they do something terrible due to something wrong with their brain along with the full knowledge that what they are about to do is wrong, God will judge them accordingly.

  • Best ep in a while!

    This is Pete’s sweet-spot… the eps with people he knows really well are enlightening, hilarious, and heartfelt. I hope Pete continues to revisit some of his early guests.

    This is a free podcast!?

  • PETE LIVED ON NORTH LEAVITT?! I lived less than four miles south of your old place, on Leavitt, in 2006. God, I just love it. Enjoying this episode so much for this reason and so many others.

  • SOMEONE has a bit like, “Of course we want to fuck 14 year-old girls. That’s why there’s a law”?????? SOMEONE????? Pete, you need to call your comedy dad and apologize.

  • Great episode. I can’t build a sentence competent enough to convey how I felt about Kumail talking about Emily’s coma. I wish you all the best. Also feel exactly what he says about feeling estranged to ‘my people’ without be able to fully integrate the western world. ‘My people’ are Iranian, I live in France and can’t say positively where I am the product of. Anyway, in addition to being a great comedian and a video game erudite, now I know Mr Nanjiani has a very elegant soul and a ‘well-made-head’ as we say in French (‘une tête bien faite’) and this fills me with joy and comfort that there are sensible, reasonable, kind, and generous people out there that don’t take the easy paths, without their intellectual compass pointing to obvious and obsolete moral paradigms.

  • “When we were in Lyle, there was some guy who had a bit like, ‘There’s a law for a reason! Everyone wants to fuck 15 year olds!”

    Yes, and that guy is Marc Maron. His bit is about going to a shopping mall and being disappointed that the girls there don’t look at him anymore. And he says: “And it’s not that I want to fuck teenaged girls, I just want some recognition! A compliment, a smile, anything! Just acknowledge me!

    “… I was lying earlier, by the way. Of course I want to fuck teenaged girls. Doesn’t everyone? That’s why there’s a law!”

    I’m pretty sure it’s everyone’s favorite Marc Maron bit.

  • Pete, if a girl is clearly flirting with you and you want to hook up with her, your best approach is to just keep your mouth shut. Just play it cool and let her enjoy seducing you.

  • @Layla I agree about being shocked by hearing Pete’s ex-wife’s name, but I was going to say that it makes PERFECT sense that she’s named Becca. I mean, she went to a Christian college, met a guy, then broke his heart… sounds JUST LIKE a “Becca” to me.

  • Just a quick thing that you made me think of when talking about Frankenstein-ing past girlfriends and relationships: there’s a lovely, heart-breaking song about that in the show Company, called “Someone is Waiting”, though he’s referencing his friends’ wives. In general, that’s a great show (if sometimes a little simplistic and cocky) about the pros and cons of marriage, from the perspective of a single guy whose friends are all married. (I know, I know it’s a musical, but it’s Sondheim, which makes it 100 times better and more literary than your average show.)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxpbsPwXEEE

  • Kumail’s story about Emily broke me emotionally. That was fucking beautiful, man.

    But Pete, on a long enough timeline, maybe you could educate yourself a little bit about the world outside of you you you you and comedy. On a long enough timeline, maybe you could try to focus on other people and not relate every fucking thing back to your limited experience of the world. When Kumail is talking about serious shit, like growing up Muslim, that doesn’t necessarily relate back to your experience with your wife, your religion or comedy. On a long enough timeline, maybe you could take some empathy classes, so you learn how to listen to someone else speak without making it all about you in your head. On a long enough timeline, maybe you just let Kumail speak, since he’s a real human being with real human experiences and not just a big baby who only thinks about himself and wants that to be ok with everyone. On a long enough timeline, maybe you need to live a little more outside of your privilege before you comment on certain things. on a long enough timeline, maybe you get to talk about your erections and your love of yourself and you don’t get to talk about Emily’s coma, or Pakistan. On a long enough timeline you might stop using the phrase “on a long enough timeline” and maybe read something about the motherfucking world you dumb fuck.

  • Whoa, John G why so much hate? Did you just choose to spend 2.5 hours listening to a podcast shaking with rage over phrasing? Shut it down and walk away man. Your presence isn’t necessary.

  • HEY PETE. HULK HERE. FIRST OF ALL HULK STARTED WORKING THROUGH THE ARCHIVES HERE AND ADORING THE SHOW.

    SECOND OF ALL, HULK THINKS THE PROBLEM OF WHAT TURNED THE GIRL OF WAS A MATTER OF PHRASING. YOU SAYING YOU’LL “BE DISSAPOINTED IF YOU DON’T HOOK UP.” SHIFTS THE ENTIRE DYNAMIC OF ATTRACTION. IT MAKES THE HOOK UP FEEL LIKE SOMETHING “OWED” SO TO SPEAK AND THROWS IT IN HER COURT. WHICH MEANS IT’S NOT ABOUT PUTTING SOMETHING IN THE AIR, WHICH IS OFTEN A GREAT WAY TO INSTIGATE THINGS. THE WAY TO GET AT THE SAME FEELINGS WITHOUT PUTTING OFF IS JUST MAKING IT CLEAR HOW MUCH YOU ARE INTO IT. IF YOU SAID “I REALLY CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT KISSING YOU.” OR SOMETHING MORE OF A POSITIVE EXPRESSION OF WANT AND NOT DISSAPOINTMENT AND OWNERSHIP, THEN HULK THINKS IT COULD HAVE GONE MUCH MUCH BETTER. DOES THAT MAKE SENSE? IT’S A WEIRD THING TO PIPE UP ABOUT, BUT HULK FEELS LIKE THIS SORT OF THING GETS CONFUSED ABOUT A LOT. IT WASN’T THE DESIRE OR THE TANGIBLENESS BUT THE MODE OF EXPRESSION.

  • Pete, I love your podcast and your comedy.  I’ve been listening to all the episodes, but have had to catch up on some that I’ve missed.  You’re my fave.  I love your honesty, and I want to tell you that once you have a child of your own, you will think very differently about 15 year olds.   Especially if you have a daughter.  At 15 they are still children and not sexually desirable in the least.  Think dubious teenage hygiene and puberty odor.  Also, if you have one day have a daughter and she reaches 15 and you go back and listen to yourself, I promise you, you will feel nauseous at your own words!  Love ya.