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Episode 81

Sex Nerd Sandra

Dorm Room Deeds

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Sex Nerd Sandra #81: Dorm Room Deeds

A VASSAR COLLEGE EXCLUSIVE! Recording live from their annual NonCon, Sandra and Dave invite Giggles employees Angela and Jennifer to talk local sex store wisdom and learn what college students are up to in between classes!

TOPICS: Epic Glory Holes, Regional Dong Lingo, Local Sex Store Behaviors, Kinky Snowmen, Utilitarian Anti-Masturbation Signs, The Sex Stairway at Orgy High, Simba, Mariah Carey, Prank Calls, Bunk Bed Safety, The Sex Tree, Senior Fun Run, Banister Sliding Science, Hot Animated Characters, Chastity, and Cuckolding.

 

Follow @DaveToTheRoss and @SexNerdSandra on Twitter! And visit Sex Nerd Sandra’s website for more sexy nerdiness!

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4 comments

  • I posted a loooooong comment and lost it, which is making me second guess posting. This is because for one of the first times I have something critical to say. I am in the field (MPH in Community Health Education, just about to dissertate in queer studies and Public Health). I don’t know why I feel like it is important to say that, I hope you would take my comment seriously no matter what. I do want you to know what the discomfort I felt with the power dynamics at play in this episode is not the function of a social expectation I have for Sandra (and Dave), it is a function of the field of sexuality education and the methodology of sex positivity.

    I am just going to come out and say it now. I thought Sandra was rude to the reps from Giggles and to the students. You established a space that didn’t seat you as the expert, although if it did your ageist remarks toward the students and condescension toward the students and the Giggles personnel would have been that much more egregious.

    For some reason you judged the participants knowledge about themselves, safety and sexual practices without any information that legitimated concerns about these elements. I suppose its a possibility that there was some rapport established with the giggles staff that the listening audience wasn’t aware of that made it appropriate to interrupt, instruct and correct them. Similarly, perhaps there was some Non-Con circumstance that the podcast fans didn’t have knowledge of. I don’t know what would make it appropriate to call them “kids” assume that they were not there to talk about sex and sexual practices in a fun, relaxed environment where their creativity would be honored, but instead to be warned and lectured about their sexual practices. You asked them to participate by sharing personal information. The purpose of sharing was simply that. It is something you are certainly aware of as a sex educator that you can’t ask people to share personal information and then change the potential contexts for the use of that information after they have shared it. You asked them to share but then did things like assume that they didn’t have expert knowledge in rigging suspensions. You asked them to share and then used lots of value and judgement language to address how well their song/space/culture was effective. How and why was it your place to judge the legitimacy of group sex on the Vassar campus. If the participant is telling you there is a culture of casual and experimental group sex that has relatively high access and is at least to some extent a reflection of the wider Vassar culture; what is the purpose of troubling that narrative? Why not believe the participant, why interrogate the possibility that its just one group of friends?

    I have no idea why there were so many of these kinds of things happening. I was really bothered by it. Usually when it comes to these sorts of things I let them go pretty quickly. I felt bad for the staff from giggles who may have thought they were participating in a panel (where people are equals) and the students who were excited to have their kink pride/opinions/practices/account of campus culture and history legitimated by the conversations to take place that day.

    I really wanted to share. I know there is no way to share this without it being tough to read, at least I hope you take it seriously enough for it to be a little hard to consider. I want you to know that I am a fan, I listen every week and I appreciate the things you (both) offer.

    Thank you for your time and your ongoing effort
    -Josefa

  • Talking about places in college, especially in the Theater department, to have sex:

    -The First Beam (Second beam was too sketchy)
    -The Grid above the stage
    -The stage
    -The Wood Shop
    -The Metal Shop
    -Linen Storage (duh)
    -Furniture Storage
    -Props (There’s still a dildo in there from a play that I directed)
    -The classroom
    -The Main Office
    -Costuming
    -The Studio
    -The PR Office
    -The Makeup Room
    -The Drafting Room

    And wherever else you could. Theater folks be freaky.