I took this l’il guy’s pic at a LEGO store using Hipstamatic for iPhone, and subsequently was driven to throw it into the pile of one of the Internet’s most classic memes.

Btw, if you’re in Philly this weekend come see me perform nerd-themed jokes at Helium Comedy.

Just like the plot of Tadpoles!

Ok well not really but this was the only person I asked to take a picture with at Comic-con. This was mere MINUTES after we did the Paul panel together in Hall H, which itself was a mere minutes after the infamous mechanical pencil face-stabbing incident.

You stab the face of my heart, Sigourney!

photo credit: Albert L. Ortega

Does your building have a graffiti problem? Of course it does!  Well, rather than painting over it every couple of days, why not try neutralizing it by adding registration symbols to it. Turn this…

…into this!

No cause for alarm here!  It’s completely Harmlessified™!

By simply adding ™ or ®, you can quickly turn any scary subversive street scribble into something that’ll have visitors thinking, “Fantastic!  There’s apparently another energy drink I need to try!  I don’t feel threatened in any way!”

Just look at these Success-o-pics™:

And it doesn’t stop there!  Considering getting your badass tattoo removed so that you don’t stand-out at your new job at the daycare?  Well, before you do, think about this:  Why remove the whole tattoo when you can just remove its soul? Blandify™ it, like this…

or this…

Remember:  there’s no image so tough that it can’t be Tamed-&-Lamed™ by branding it as officially registered.

*NOTE: if you’re the guy pictured in either of those tattoo pictures and you’re thinking about killing me, before you do, know that I found them by googling the phrase “badass tattoo”.

Find more Phirm HERE!

I have a sneaking suspicion that TRUE BLOOD is about to introduce yet another type of creature. The other night, did anyone else notice this creepy dude staggering through the foreground?

Let’s just ZOOM IN and ENHANCE…

*SPOILER ALERT:
Due to atmospheric moisture, contents should be eaten within 7-10 days of opening.

Phind more Phirm HERE!

Look, no matter how much evil Batman squashes with his Death-Monk training, at the core of it he’s still a rich white guy. As such, he is innately drawn to hit the links on weekends.

The armored golf tumbler is great in the rough, marauding through sand traps and protecting its driver from stray golf balls. It can even help you play an entire round in under 30 minutes. The only thing it can’t do is improve your short game–that’s where you have to “become an idea” and relentlessly attack chipping and putting like they killed your parents in an alley.

via LikeCool

LOS ANGELES, CA — FIFA announced Friday that for the first time in soccer history, nerds will not only be allowed to play the sport—they’ll have their own league.

Beginning on Monday, the organization will lift its ban on nerds, as well as introduce three new rules: (1) no physical contact, (2) when a goal is scored, the value shown on the polyhedral synthetic leather die will determine if the goal is valid, and (3) no casting vuvuzela missile at the darkness.

Phind more Phirm HERE!

Phind more Phirm HERE!

A few years ago, I sold my favorite car: a 93 Honda Accord.  I hated selling him—not only because he was the “Black Pearl” of the Fourth Generation of Accords, but because he happens to be one of the most famous cars in America.  I mean it: YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE AMAZED by all the times you’ve seen him in movies and TV shows and didn’t realize you were looking at my ’93 Honda Accord.

Here are screen captures from some of his greater moments on the screen (in no particular order other than comedic heightening):

He got his start in Universal Studios’s KNIGHT RIDER stunt show!

Moving up, he was featured in this, the re-release of the classic BEN HUR!

Here he is in his first leading role opposite Tobey Maguire in SPIDERMAN!

His agent at AAA landed him this role in the original x-MEN! (So serious!)

He’s only in it for a minute, but what a minute to have on your demo reel: in Peter Jackson’s KING KONG!

This one’s exciting.  I could not believe he actually got screen time right next to Tom Hanks in the DA VINCI CODE!

He’s the only Honda Accord that can list LORD OF THE RINGS on his IMDB page (playing two different roles: ONE GOOD…
…and ONE EVIL!

He was so good in Fellowship, they brought him back for THE TWO TOWERS!


This one, he wouldn’t shut up about for weeks, seeing as how SOUTH PARK is his favorite show.

And most recently, look at him showing off here, racing down the streets in last year’s FAST AND FURIOUS 4! (I didn’t even know he could drive!)

I see him around town sometimes, but only on billboards and bus ads—never out on the road.  (I hear he only takes cabs now.)  If you see him, tell him his old manager Mike says “Hey!”

Phind more Phirm HERE!

via LikeCool

A Photoshop contest asked me what it would look like if my favorite movie took place in another era.  This was my answer.

Mike Phirman is a comedian/musician/Photoshop Jedi and has just signed on as a Nerdist contributor! Get his amazing music here.

HARDWICK’S NOTE: YES. This pic has been around for years. Phirman made it for a Fark contest (which he surprisingly didn’t win but I think came in second). I love it so much I just wanted to use it as his launching point.