I guess we’ll keep making it!

“911?! Help!!! 40 million passengers are trapped in my balls I have to get them out!”

Now everyone knows the face of the guy who was didn’t have enough rollover minutes to tug one out. SADLARIOUS.

PS – News people are humorless.

I just got this email:

Mint.com to Join the Intuit Family

We’ve got exciting news to share with you! Quicken and Mint.com are coming together to take personal finance to the next level. Intuit just announced our intent to purchase Mint.com. The acquisition is expected to close by the end of 2009.

Mint.com is a fast-growing provider of online personal finance solutions, providing more than 1.5 million users a fresh, easy and intelligent way to manage their money. Intuit and Mint.com share a common goal: to help you do more with your money through innovative, easy-to-use solutions.

Rest assured, we’ll continue to offer the easy-to-use Quicken Desktop software you know and trust. And you’ll get the same level of great service you have come to expect from Quicken.

In fact, you can look forward to new ways Quicken will help you spend smarter, save more and live richly.

If you have questions you can keep up-to-date on the latest by visiting the Quicken Blog.

Sincerely,

Todd Stanley
Vice President & General Manager
Quicken

This is potentially exiting news for anyone who had their entire goddamn financial lives on Quicken and then went Mac. The only thing missing from Quicken for Mac is a sad “wah-WAH” trumpet sound every time it launches. I experimented with Mint.com for a while and really liked it, but ultimately it never stuck because I was already too deep in the Quicken-sand (I get MAD pun points for that shit).

Hopefully Intuit will bend more to Mint’s UI and experience rather than the other way around: I would LOVE to see Mint/Quicken integration. Since Mint.com has a pretty sweet set-up in the cloud PLUS and great iPhone app I actually have a glimmer of excitement brewing in me that Quicken will finally be, for lack of a better term, “Fashion Forward.”

Thoughts? Feelings? Am I wrong about this? I have a feeling some of you finance nerds will have an opinion…

Schwa??? Some anonymous analyst somewheres, or “anonylyst,” swears on his anonymous mother’s life that he has held a 10-inch Apple Netbooky thing in his hands. Hands, by the way, that we must picture as an amalgamation of other hands we’ve stored in our memories as we do not have a visual reference due to their owner’s unidentifiable nature.

STILL, we may not have long to wait because the Nerd gossip rumor mill predicts a September release. Philosophically it makes sense, since Apple tends to stalk the viability of a market and then strike with some sort of game-changing device. Practially, though, I still can’t wrap my head around carting around  a large piece of breakable glass. I mean, an iPhone or Touch is barely okay–and even then, 50% of the time–when you drop it. How could something bigger and heavier survive? Unless SteJo has patented a Flubber-like substance. That would be nifty.

And how could typing be smooth? Again, philosophically, I would get to live out my fantasy of hyper-poking a hard, flush input surface a la Lieutenant Commander Data. But practically, would the iPhone-like typos be frustrating?

No word on a name yet, but I’m sure it will give the feeling of the not-too-distant future. If it breaks easily I’m going to be the first journalist to tag it “The Crackintosh.” I own that. It’s mine.

What do you think? Is a Netbook storm a-comin’?

Via CNet Via Engadget via 9to5Mac via Barron’s

Well, I just got off the phone with an AT&T customer service representative (who was very sweet, btw) and it looks like there’s some good news for some current iPhone owners about subsidized pricing that just came down the pike today.

AT&T has extended the following rad pricing:

• $99 8g 3G
• $199 16g 3GS
• $299 32g 3GS

…if you meet the following criteria:

1. You purchased a 3G iPhone between July-September of ‘08
2. Your monthly plan is at least $99
3. You have been a responsible bill-payer
4. You are alive

And that seems to be pretty much it. The rep, Andrea, also said that AT&T had no idea that a whole new phone was going to be released until WWDC last week so they initially scrambled to put the pricing plan together that bummed everyone out. With all of the AT&T bashing that’s gone on lately (of which I am THOROUGHLY guilty) I think this is a good move on their part. Though many bash-opposers said that we were whiny and should just shut up and live with our contracts, I feel like it’s necessary to point out that it is VERY common to upgrade mid-term. The carrier’s upside is another full two-year commitment, so it’s not like we were asking for something and not giving anything in return.

In any case, the pricing rage was just the head of the anger pimple after learning that a few of the iPhone’s most coveted features wouldn’t be available in the States for a while (MMS & tethering), so this move to placate a large number of us is a much-needed panacea. It demonstrates the company’s good will and should keep us happy until those aforementioned features become available (though I’m not so sure about the reality of tethering).

Now, for the first time in a while, I can sincerely say, “Thank you, AT&T.”

Italicized Note: I will be reviewing said unit on Monday’s “Attack of the Show.”

This is fantastic news for me because I am hosting and writing on it. I’d like to slobber on G4 by saying that the pilot was BEYOND fun and I’m looking forward to doing the show regularly. “Web Soup” is produced by the “The Soup” producers, so it’s more of a spin-off than a rip-off. I guest-hosted “Talk Soup” in the early 00s before Aisha took over and have always loved the format. People have asked me on Twitter if I’m going to do a Joel McHale impersonation. I reply that I’ve had pretty much the same TV voice since ‘94 when I started at MTV but if that seems Joel-like then there are far worse people to be compared to cuz that guy has GOT THE GOODS. (As a side note, Joel’s considerably taller, making the impersonation that much more difficult. I’d put him at about 8′1″.)

I can’t wait to present web videos and vagina jokes to you every Sunday night starting June 7th on G4! Soon I will post an email address for you to submit vids. ALSO, I would like you to come to tapings if you’re going to be in LA on Friday afternoons so you can use this as-yet-undefined email for that as well.

Nerds!!!

I think we can all agree that Joel is phenomenal on “The Soup.” But there is not doubt that he will soon own a shiny chunk of Hollywood with some kick-ass new projects this Fall. First, McHale will pop up in The Informant, directed by a guy named Steven Soderbergh. Nextly, his NBC show, “Community,” just got picked up and looks nothing short of hilarious. (Come back for Chevy Chase? I hope so.) Check out the trailer below.

Joel is literally one of the nicest, funniest guys you could meet and I fully support the success of nice, funny people. AND SO SHOULD YOU!!!

One of my all-time favorite sites, Lifehacker, recently asked to interview me about my GTD habits (well, the site isn’t sentient, it was actually editor Adam Pash who asked). I was completely flattered by the request. Many of the tools that I use in my life were brought to me through Lifehacker, the most useful portal for personal and computing productivity in the eight and a half planets. Thanks also get shoveled onto senior editor Kevin Purdy, who conducted a super-fun interview.

And now…

THE ARTICLE

Even though SteJo fervently dismissed the idea of an Apple netbook last year, it seems that Apple may release a 9 or 10-inch touchscreen netbook in the second half of the year, according to that hilarious comedy website CNNMoney.com. With the possibility of the WWDC happening in June I can’t help but hope and wonder that the big summertime announcement this year could be this device. You’re right, the date is more in sync with the cycle of their iPhone announcements, but since the netbook is a whole new bloody device (I’m not British) then who knows what the product cycle could be? My guess on pricing would be somewhere between $800-$1000, mainly because, as it will be more of a computer, it would have to cost more than an untethered iPhone, right?

Also, it seems like APPL needs something big to drop. Their last several announcements could have been settings on a Sound Spa clock radio next to “Rainforest” and “Waterfall.” A strong announcement could also try to dampen any blow that may be incurred if Jobs doesn’t come back (coincidentally in June). On top of that heaping pile of potentially questionable reasoning you might add Apple’s  general device-launching M.O. to the mix:  sit back for a while to test the viability of the market and then make a more fuckable netbook.

Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhh!!!! It’s a vile plot!!! This must be how Art Bell feels all the time!!! 2,1 iPhones…netbooks…SteJo’s health…IT’S TOO MUCH.

My emotions can only be adequately expressed through the following musical link.

…but only for a few months. The Senate passed a bill yesterday that would delay the digital broadcasting switcheroo until June 12, mainly because the government ran out of funds to give out digital converter box coupons to people who can’t afford awesome new million-to-one contrast ratio HDTVs running at 120Hz, no doubt thanks to some type of financial crisis the media wants to remind us about every day.