It’s all for you, Katniss.

HT: Claire Zulkey, WBEZ/Chicago

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You like the FX? You like Emma Stone? You like Rhys Ifans? You like Denis Leary with his hair combed? You like “one guy in a unitard”? July 3rd, then.

HT: E! Online

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In the earlier cases I mentioned, the titles, no matter how literal, came as a result of the film itself. The original title for Alien was Star Beast, yet for a movie so blue collar and industrial, Alien better served the tone and could apply to both the creature and the crew of the Nostromo being foreign in outer space. To go a different way with a Ridley Scott movie, Blade Runner is based on the Philip K. Dick novel, “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?,” which is a little long for a marquee, so it was changed to Blade Runner. Problem is, “Blade Runner” was a book about illegal smuggling of medical supplies in Africa, but Scott liked the title and so optioned the book just to use it in something. Aside from a couple of throwaway lines added to tie it up, Blade Runner has nothing to do with running blades or running on blades or blades at all. If someone asked you to describe Blade Runner the words “blade” and “runner” would never appear anywhere in it, but that’s not the point. The important thing is that Blade Runner is a fucking fantastic title and one that sits in the minds of people forever.

Describe Man on a Ledge. It’s about a man… who’s on a ledge. Other stuff happens, sure, but essentially it’s a man who is out on a ledge. The sequel will probably be Man on a Limb, about a man who climbs a tree and refuses to come down, but I fear it’d be too deep for people. Too many titles nowadays are neither intriguing nor clever; they’re literally just the pitch or general conceit of the film. What’s the concept? It’s snakes on a plane. I know, let’s call it Viper Flight or Cobra Cruise or Venom at 50,000 Ft. No, idiot, we’re calling it Snakes on a Plane because that’s what it’s about. There was a movie a few years ago about fighting and it was just called Fighting. They’re not even trying anymore!  Tyler Perry, the billionaire behind all those movies you’ve never seen, is coming out with a movie called Good Deeds about a guy named Wesley Deeds who does good things. For fuck sake! “See, his name is Deeds and he does deeds, so it works in two ways.” No it doesn’t! It’s the same obvious way twice! What about the new Disney movie John Carter? I’m aware the book series and film are about a guy whose name is in fact John Carter, but he goes to fucking MARS and fights in a gladiator arena with giant monsters and shit. But no, John Carter, that’ll be good.

And it’s not even just that the titles are too obvious. Some of them have zero to do with the movie. Safe House takes place in a safe house, fine, but the movie Lock-Out, about a guy having to rescue the president’s daughter from a prison in outer space, is not about being locked out from anywhere. But, boy, it sure sounds like something they’d do in a prison. Make up your mind.

The following are famous, good-titled movies and what they probably would be titled if they came out today:

Star Wars – Spaceships

The Silence of the Lambs – Fat Women Get Skinned

A Clockwork Orange – A Violent Delinquent Gets Reformed, Kinda

Double Indemnity – Insurance Fraud

Back to the Future – Old Car Time Machine

Reservoir Dogs – Men in Ties

Die Hard – Nothing Lasts Forever (which is the actual title of the novel upon which the film is based)

The Great Escape – Most Of The People Die

So the point of all this is that I’m easily irritated. The End.

-Kanderson wants to remind everyone that not everything needs a point. Follow him on TWITTER

They’ve managed to get their hands on a pair of ARTFX statues from ace figure maker Kotobukiya, figures of C-3P0 and R2-D2 in all their glory, replete with articulated limbs (yes, they’re poseable!) and everything. I think these are the ones they showed off at Comic-Con and they’re pretty gotta-have-them.

And you can win them. Here’s how: Click here. Enter your name and email (which, if you’re not yet signed up for the newsletter, will set that up for you). Click Go. That’s it. They have the official rules and other information on that page as well. The GCD Facebook and Twitter pages will offer more chances to win, too. You have until February 20th at midnight to enter, and you’ll want to do so. So do it. And for all your Star Wars 3D needs this week, make sure you’re signed up for GeekChicDaily newsletters.

While the commercials were moderately amusing, the most important event of the Super Bowl, in my opinion, was the new Avengers TV spot.  I’m looking forward to this movie; Hopefully, it will live up to the long wait.

For more nonsense be sure to check out my twitter feed @dihard11

If the movie was like this, maybe it would have been a bigger hit.

HT: Topless Robot

Neat? It’s 10 fucking seconds long!! There are almost as many black frames in the video as there are frames of things. Why did they even bother?!?! Photographs would have been more beneficial. “In case you didn’t know, here are the people in the movie.” Wow. Thanks, I guess.

-Kanderson really dislikes advertising, yet loves products. Follow him on TWITTER

As you can see below, there are LEGO representations of all nine members of the fellowship as well as several baddies. Playsets will start being released in June with ones based on Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey dropping this December.

Some of the cooler sounding sets will include: The Battle of Weathertop, The Mines of Moria, and, my personal favorite, the Battle of Helm’s Deep. I have neither the money nor the space for all these, but an adult male can dream, can’t he? Keep an eye on LEGO’s official LOTR site for descriptions when they become available.

The Fellowship

The Bad Guys

-Kanderson’s childlike glee about this can only be matched by the glee he gets when people follow him on TWITTER