Looks like we are getting an Inception sequel quicker than expected. It looks kind of, I don’t know, boring. What do you guys think?

I also exist on Youtuber and The Tweet Machine. Stop by, but take your shoes off, please. I just got the carpet cleaned.

Awesome surprise for Freshman moving into MIT as hackers placed a TARDIS on top of a building in Kendall Square.  These students really are geniuses!  ”Hackers” at MIT have been up to these pranks for quite some time now and in my opinion haven’t topped the work done in 1999.

via Boston.com\more pics HERE

Today I decided to look at that time-tested movie trope of the alien invasion. Almost from the time we realized there was an outer space we’ve been dreaming about the life that might exist somewhere among the stars. And, almost as immediately, we decided they were probably hostile douche nozzles who would kill us, the paranoid meat sacks that we are. However, some of these “threats” posed in popular fiction have been slightly less frightening than, say, a blender turned to frappé. Whether too ridiculous, convoluted, or just plain timid, these are the alien invaders we could easily give a swirly to.

VI – WAR OF THE WORLDS (1953, 1988, 2005)
This one goes at the bottom (top) of the list because these aliens and their tripod spacecrafts actually do kill a great deal of people. It’s the perfect plan: “Martians” attack us in order to use our planet as their own. They begin growing their vegetation and pretty much decimate the planet. The only problem, of course, is they couldn’t get past our first, best, and only line of defense: a germ. These sophisticated alien invaders must not have any immune system to speak of because they wither and die in a matter of minutes after catching some unnamed bacterial infection, leaving nothing but empty husks. When the novel was written by H.G. Wells in 1898, this was probably a viable answer to the problem. Now, on the other hand, it’s just kind of silly. I hope if the aliens do invade, they’re this lame. I have a cold right now, let me cough on the fuckers.

V - THE BLOB (1958)
Similar situation as War of the Worlds, this little nugget features Steve McQueen as a teenage drag racer facing off against, well, a Blob. It’s basically just that. An alien that is nothing more than an amorphous mass of red gelatin that engulfs whatever’s in its path. It seems pretty horrible, until you find out that it can be easily stopped by a fire extinguisher. Apparently, the pressurized CO2 can render the entire thing useless and indeed freezes it utterly. Once it can’t blob after anyone anymore, the military drops it in the middle of the arctic circle, which is great until the polar ice caps melt. So soon we’re going to have to deal with global warming AND a huge alien loogie. Thanks again, military! If you get past the silly horror, The Blob is actually a thinly veiled warning against the growing Communist threat. A huge, seemingly unstoppable RED thing is sucking everything into itself and making good, honest Americans a part of its evil marauding. Not bad for 1958. All credibility does go out the door with the easier than necessary solution, and of course this hysterically out of place theme song.

IV - SIGNS
Here’s a message to all you would-be alien invaders out there: If you’re going to invade a planet and do the whole “gas them with your weird arm toxin” thing, maybe don’t invade a planet made predominantly of THE ONE THING THAT HARMS YOU!!! I do not dislike this movie, in fact as far as house/family under siege movies go, it’s probably one of the best. M. Night Shamalamadingdong does a good job of keeping the aliens more frightening by only giving us small glimpses of them, like a foot in a corn field, or a hand under a door, but then the end of the movie comes up and the whole thing is ruined. Apparently, these aliens and their infinitely advanced cloaked spaceships and coded crop circles are harmed by good ol’ H2O. Goddamned WATER brings about the death of these things. You know what planet has no water? Statistically, every other planet in the whole frigging universe. Pick one of them instead. Did you not do your homework at all? Way to fail so horrendously, aliens. I’m glad Joaquin Phoenix beat the tar out of you. You’re stupid.

III – CRITTERS
The poster for this movie is a complete misrepresentation. If a group of things that looked like that invaded Earth, I would legitimately be afraid, but the critters are actually little, carnivorous balls of fur. It’s like some Trekkies got high one night and said, “Dude, what if Tribbles could, like, eat you?” And his friend, undoubtedly said, “Duuuuuuuuuuuuuude.” That’s the general conceit of this movie. But, we’re lead to believe, these koosh balls with teeth are so dangerous that two shape-shifting alien bounty hunters need to be dispatched. Really, anyone with a nine iron should be able to take these things down. Or just, like, a ruler. I think it was really just an excuse to make a monster movie with hand puppets. I liked this movie the first time I saw it, when it was called “Gremlins.”

II – INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL
This is the saddest I’ve ever been in a movie theater, and I saw Spider-Man 3. A little piece of my childhood died in the summer of 2008 and went to join the part of me that used to like Star Wars. Apart from being just an all-around stupid movie, it also does what no previous Indiana Jones movie could: prove that science is actually less believable than magic. Nazis seeking enlightenment from The Ark: Good movie. Commies seeking enlightenment from Mayan space aliens: Awful movie. The actual alien portions of this movie play like any other Aliens-Were-Always-Here flick, and, sort of like Mission to Mars, amounts to a bunch of people saying things. If the aliens were willing to give the ultimate knowledge in the universe to someone, why didn’t they just go find that person instead of waiting for someone to find them? And then they have the audacity, nay, the balls to pass judgement on those that arrive? If I were Indiana Jones, I would have punched all of them in their weird, oblong crystal skulls.

I - PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE
Let me see if I can understand this plan, known to the aliens as “Plan 9.” Since the American government did not respond politely to your barrage of flying saucers, you will reanimate the corpses of the recently deceased to, what? Kill everyone? Terrible plan, right? Well, what you don’t know is that the first eight plans from outer space were even worse. I happen to have access to the previous plans from these diabolical heathens and will share them with you now.

Plan 1 From Outer Space: Let loose a pod of angry sea turtles
Plan 2 From Outer Space: Throw lit matches at everyone’s sweaters
Plan 3 From Outer Space: Send a giant robot down to Earth and kick Brit Hume really hard in the shin
Plan 4 From Outer Space: Replace all the chocolate in the world with less-delicious chocolate substitute
Plan 5 From Outer Space: Miley Cyrus (this one actually worked)
Plan 6 From Outer Space: Act really aloof and sarcastic in hopes Earth won’t know we secretly love it
Plan 7 From Outer Space: Tap everyone in the world on the shoulder and then run away
Plan 8 From Outer Space: Burrow deep into the Earth’s crust and lie dormant for millions of years until such time as an expedition makes its way toward the core of the planet and then step out and tell them we’re happy to take their literature but we’re just not very religious

This is the movie Edward D. Wood, Jr is most known for, and with good reason. It’s glorious shit. Widely regarded as the worst movie ever made, though I would personally give that dubious honor to “Manos: The Hands of Fate,” “Plan 9 From Outer Space” is that rare kind of bad movie that is so unbelievably atrocious that it has actually become entertaining. Made for about $.35, it shows that anyone can make a movie as long as they throw some zombies and flying saucers in there.

And there you have it. Aliens pose no threat.

You’re welcome
-Kanderson

This falls under the category of grating-larious. I could not stop laughing but I was also shouting expletives at the same time. Yes, they go through ALL ONE HUNDRED WAYS TO LOVE A CAT. Note the video running time is slightly over thirty-five minutes. After you hear the song for a while, you will long for a time when it was unknown to you and could not dominate every thought in your head. This is commitment to a premise at its finest and will most certainly become the new “99 Bottles” for long road trips.

How many ways to love a cat can YOU sit through? I got to thirty-eight!

By the comedy team of Travis and Jonathan who also brought you Is The Tea Party Racist?

The Kids In the Hall are back, comedy nerds. I mean, the die-hardiest fans among us realize that they never really went away, having gotten back together numerous times since 1996’s Brain Candy feature for live tours, comedy shorts, and the like.  But this is their first substantial filmed effort in 14 years and hold onto your wigs and costume jewelry, because Death Comes To Town – which lands tonight on IFC at 10 p.m.  – is KITH turned up to eleven.

Our friends and fellow nerd brethren in the Great White North, of course, got to see this epic miniseries of oddity eight months ago. Okay, and some of us might not have been so patient for that U.S. air date. (Hey, if it’s good enough for Dave Foley, it’s good enough for me.) Britain’s The League of Gentlemen has been cited as an influence on Death Comes to Town, and if you’re familiar with the former you’ll definitely see its impact on the latter, in the often pitch-black comedy of a small-time town populated with big-time freaks. Even the lone return appearance by a character from the Kids’ 1990’s sketch series is one of their stranger, skeevier creations. And I don’t mean Bellini. Bellini is pretty much a requirement, isn’t he?:

Here’s the thing, though : While I can definitely lay claim to more than five laughs over Death Comes to Town’s four-hour cumulative running time, which as UK film critic Mark Kermode stipulates should be a fair litmus test for a successful comedy… wellll, I didn’t really love it. There’s a lot of high-octane insanity going on here driving toward the big mystery of who killed the mayor of Shuckton, Ontario and why, and though the set pieces involving individual characters and storylines usually work on their own, some repeat gags lose steam the more they’re utilized and the manner in which they’re woven together doesn’t always gel. (Caught myself around episode six thinking “Guys, you’ve got an hour left.  Denouement!” I know, probably a bad assessment for a surreal comedy, but maybe that’s my old-school miniseries gauge talking. I know, it’s not the fucking Thorn Birds. Shutting up now.)

I’m looking forward to watching Death Comes to Town again and seeing if the stuff that irked me the first time isn’t as much of an issue. That said, even it felt a little scattershot at times, there’s plenty to be enjoyed. Remember how Cancer Boy was minutely scandalous when Brain Candy came out? This show is crammed with Cancer Boys, each gleefully pushing the boundaries of good taste, and it’s hard to choose a favorite: Mark McKinney’s Death, holed up in a seedy motel getting hammered on owl’s blood and lusting after chubby redheads, is up there. So is Scott Thompson’s hairless town coroner whose, um, attachment to Bruce McCulloch’s late mayor gets a leeetle bit freaky. Foley’s scarcely grieving mayor’s wife is great, and his indistinctly foreign veterinary nurse is even better. And then there’s Rampop (Landon Reynolds-Trudel) – the mayor’s son who mostly runs around squawking and sees everyone, except Death, as giant psychedelic butterflies. Rampop is probably the most awesomely strange creation the Kids have ever realized. (Well, at least since “Sausages”):

Sound off about Death Comes to Town below – and share some of your other favorite KITH classics while you’re at it. (My pen! My pennnn!)

Ray Bradbury: Making nerd girls drop their knickers since 1938.

(Rachel Bloom, you are true blue, woman.)

image courtesy of Node Warrior Scott Eric Johnson

Michael Cera and Jason Schwartzman pause during their busy promo tour for Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World to moonlight as weathermen for Fox 5 in Atlanta. Comedy gold:

Your local weather reporter is now INVALID. Also, go see Scott Pilgrim tomorrow!

(Thanks, Kristi!)