Realistic Yoshi Would be Bad News for Mario
By Charles Webb on May 14, 2014
Forget Godzilla – a giant, hungry Yoshi might be a scarier prospect in the giant lizard game. At least when Godzilla eats something, there’s no chance that he’ll spit it out as a weaponized projectile.
Pete Holmes shows Super Mario Bros. fans what it would be like if the dino mascot were a little more realistic. It doesn’t go well for Mario… Or anyone Mario has ever known.
Frankly, I feel like the whole thing is off base: Yoshi, with his rounded teeth, would probably be a herbivore and therefore only likely to attack when threatened and not just because Brooklyn plumber is on the menu. Or that’s what I would say if I could find one official image of video game Yoshi showing his teeth.
This is going to bother me all day.
Next year will mark the 25th anniversary of the character’s first appearance all the way back in 1990s Super Mario World. The little green dinosaur has spent the last two decades as a sidekick to the brothers Mario, swallowing and vomiting up items and enemies all around the mushroom kingdom. He’s conquered the small screen, comics, and he was in the Super Mario Bros. live-action movie and we can all just pretend that didn’t happen.
Wait, in the film he definitely has the sharp teeth of a carnivore. Yeah, he’s a toothy little raptor there. But apparently, Nintendo doesn’t want us asking too many deep questions about Yoshi’s diet, hence the lack of photos showing his teeth over the years.