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LOST RIVER Wants You to Look at Matt Smith’s Muscles. Look at His Muscles. Look at His Muscles!

Will you please, for the love of all things Wholy, look at Matt Smith‘s goddamn muscles already? He’s been asking nicely this whole time! Look at his muscles, look at his muscles, look at his muscles! Did you not hear his demand for it, Internet? The Eleventh Doctor himself is asking — nay, imploring! — that you LOOK AT HIS FREAKING MUSCLES ALREADY JEEZ. For reasons currently unknown, natch, though we’re hopeful they’ll be explained at a later date in Ryan Gosling’s directorial debut, Lost River.

Not to give anything away, but: be prepared for nothing. This purported official trailer for the film once known as How to Catch a Monster just appears on the screen, nameless, shirtless, creditless, Christina Hendricks-less, demanding a bit of Smith-based bodily obsession. Taking a page from his director superfriend, Nicholas Winding Refn, it seems Gosling prefers starkness to any sort of tangible storyline. (Probably because he’s so dreamily artistic. Hey girl.)

So, in lieu of plot points we get Matt Smith, hanging out in Detroit on top of a car — microphone in hand, because how else would he be able to command you to musclegaze?! — staring at a youngish lad (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.‘s Iain DeCaestecker) with a bag full of metal-y sounding stuff. We also see him pump iron in the grass. And get ready for his gun show. Matt Smith’s character, Bully, is either a bad guy (a… bully, perhaps?) or a serious fitness buff. Or probably both! We don’t want to limit the guy and what he can do.

Let’s play i-spy: what is there to look at in this trailer other than Matt Smith’s muscles? Let us know in the comments.

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