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Ravens from the Realm: Teacher Threatens GAME OF THRONES Spoilers and More

Happy Tuesday, citizens of Westeros! Our countdown to the return of Game of Thrones on HBO currently stands at twelve days. Less than two weeks stands between us and the George R.R. Martin novel series turned a-mazing television show, and with that comes a bevy of… Internet stuff! Because what else are fans supposed to do in the days leading up to season four? Live their life? Go to their jobs? Have friends and experiences that relate to the world outside? Pish posh! It’s far more fun to scour the Internet for any nominally informative details and funny bits to continue fueling the anticipation train.

But for all of you hoping to strike a balance in your life (what’s that?), we’ve gone ahead and compiled all the latest and greatest the world has to offer relating to the upcoming season of GoT. Hold onto your wargs, kids: we’ve got some stuff to uncover.

Video: Season Three Recap
Trying to convince a friend or loved one to commit to the television show can be a daunting task. There are already many, many hours from the past three seasons to slog through. For the lazybones in your life (or just those in need of a refresher), here’s a spoiler-filled video recap from our friends the Fine Brothers of what happened last season — all told in under 10 minutes. Easy peasy, right?

Awesomely Cruel Teacher Alert
Now here’s some effective teaching tips, all you shapers-of-young-minds out there: if your students are acting unruly, threaten them with Game of Thrones spoilers! The Daily Telegraph reports that a math teacher in Belgium threatened his unruly students with revealing the names of the dead after learning that most of his class were huge fans of the TV series. According to the paper, the teacher stated, “Well, I’ve read all the books. If there is too much noise, I will write the names of the dead on the board… They [the dead] are enough to fill the whole year and I can even describe how they die.”

And while students first saw this as an empty threat, the math teacher showed himself to be deadly serious when he began writing the names of the dead from season three on the board. New rule: don’t fuck with teachers who’ve taken the time to read the books your favorite series is based on. The threat is real.

Song Tribute: The Dragon’s Daughter
If you were ever curious to know what Game of Thrones would look and sound like if it was created by Glee‘s Ryan Murphy, take a listen to this fan-crafted tribute song to season one:

Video: Making the Royal Wedding Feast
Verizon FiOS has a video up on its YouTube page about all the things that went into the upcoming royal wedding of King Joffrey Bratatheon (see what we did there?) and Margaery Tyrell. There are blood sausages and opulence (oh, and birds in pies, like an old fairy tale) for days! Five days, it seems, as that’s how long it took to film what’s sure to be another epic Game of Thrones affair.

Video: Swords and Battles and Stuff!
Another FiOS video highlighting this season’s increased physicality and action stuff is also pretty interesting. It cannot be stressed enough the epic size, scope, and scale of the battle scenes we’re going to witness this season. To say nothing of the locations of where some of them take place. I mean: jagged volcanic cliff rocks? OK, it’s official: the location scouts on this show have the best job in the world.

So who else wants to take a page out of that teacher’s coursebook? Ready to join the fantasy fantasy league? Tell us about it in the comments.

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