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Awesomely Bad Movies Faces Off with COBRA

Friends! Romans! Contrabands! I’ve returned with another episode of Awesomely Bad Movies. This time, I take aim (pun intended) at possibly the 1980s’ most unabashedly fascist cop movie — and that’s saying something — Cobra from 1986, written by and starring ol’ sideways-mouth himself, Sylvester Stallone. In the episode, I poke fun at the movie’s rampant murder, its distaste for the socially liberal, and its insistence that Brigitte Nielsen was attractive.

For more Awesomely Bad Movies, please subscribe to Modern Primate on YouTube and check out all of their programs. If you have any suggestions for movies for to tackle, either on this show or in my Schlock & Awe column, please let me know down there in the comments. Do you like Cobra? Is it for reasons other than ’80s excess? Tell me off in the comments also!

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3 comments

  • It remember I’d waited an entire year to finally be able to catch this on cable because I missed it in the theater. I knew all the hype behind the movie including having the soundtrack with Bill Medley and the two videos at the time with John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band and Jean [Insert French name that starts with a B here]. I really didn’t like it. But I later found the Laserdic in a pawn shop in Texas and watched it with some friends and we just had a blast with it. It was recognizable still bad, but it still had some entertainment value in a Roland Emmerich sort of way.

    I will say though, the guy in the suit is really part of a cult that stretches beyond just the anarchy thugs chasing and killing people. It was to show it was very Wolfram & Hart which is why they show his partner betraying them. Guess I spoiled that. Well, it’s been nearly 30 years. But there’s unintentionally funny stuff in there. Like after the Awesome 50 crash, he opens the door and little bits of glass fall out which actually look like teeth for a second. The opening dialog and overacting in the beginning with the infamous drinking of the Coors, is actually funny. Not meant to be, but still funny. The Matrix took a line from this movie when Agent Smith says, “You’re the disease and we’re the cure.”

    It’s hard to tell after the over saturation of camera movement by the Michael Bay era, but George P. Cosmatos directed this movie with style. It was actually shot like a thriller more than it was an action movie. There’s a commentary track on one of the versions of the DVD with him and it’s funny to listen to as well.

    This movie goes up there along with ACTION JACKSON, where it’s bad, but it’s also a good time even when it’s unintentionally so.