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Scientifically Accurate “DuckTales” (NSFW)

Fox’s Animation Domination High-Def has some nightmare fuel for you, another in their Scientifically Accurate series revamping classic cartoons. DuckTales takes the hit this time, and I have to warn you that it includes poop. And duck penis. And explosive diarrhea and vomit and exploding heads and cannibalism. Did I mention necrophilia? Because there’s that, too.

Disgusting and reprehensible, those ducks are. And that Huey, Dewey, and Louie seemed like such NICE boys.

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10 comments

  • @Anna

    Why does it have to be only Fox’s fault? They don’t have a Monopoly on Bad Television.

    I just don’t understand HOW/WHY this was made… ADHD always seems like a poorly produced program (Granted I live in Australia and have never seen a full eps, only these Sh*tty Web music vids, so, sorry), but if you’re gonna make a parody music video, why not try to make the words actually fit the melody?

    And yet I always end up watching them when people post them on their blogs, just like those Cinema Sin Vids, I can’t stand those, but I still watch them.

    *Sigh* Damn You Internets!

  • “Incidentally, you didn’t have to capitalize “cyanide”.”

    :-)

    ***
    (fast learner, …sometimes)

    I’ve seen very little TV since watching Mr. Rogers w/our son, and the ’93 season of SNL, so I’m no expert, I was just trying to elicit a moronic response from a Left Wing Ideologue.
    You did not oblige.
    Congrats.

    I know, I know, I know I didn’t have to Capitalize “Left Wing Ideologue.”

    Or capitalize, Or or, or, oh nevermind.

  • Thank you all for your responses to my comment! Your responses are always very appreciated!

    Kristoffer: actually, *you’ve* got a point; poor sentence construction on my part. Futurama was always good. Simpsons s5 up…? Not so much.

    Someone’s Angry Tonight (such a *cuuute* commenter name!): You might want to go back and reread. I kept Fox News separate, and do not believe that Rupert or Roger want to have anything to do with animation. They’re just fuckheads, too, along with whoever was responsible for “ADHD” (also too, sooo cuuuute). Actually, they’re traitorous fuckheads, and if I gotta explain it, you’ll never know why.

    Lanon: I know. I’m hysterical. Fucking hormones. And yes, this is a frack…no, fucking cartoon. A really, really BAD fucking cartoon. Go watch again. There’s no talent on display in the entire thing. Awful concept, awful production, awful everything. But “corkscrew penises are SOOO funny…!”

    Doug: Wow. Harsh, dude. No, I’ll pass on suicide. Incidentally, you didn’t have to capitalize “cyanide”.

    ***

    Sorry, but anything with the word Fox attached is beyond reproach. Hey, go ask Joss Whedon, although why he went back again and again for more abuse is beyond me. (Though going to work for Disney/Marvel’s not a lot better, but I’ll give him a break for all the shit he had to eat at Fox…at least now, he can go off and do his own independent productions.) Or go watch an ep of “24”, or “Family Guy” or “American Dad”. You can feel the braincells melt while-u-watch.

    Bye, now!

  • “Maybe you should find some new hobbies”

    Ingesting Cyanide would be fun.
    If she has difficulty finding it, she could just swallow any pesticide having ingredients that include it in the mix.

  • No one likes Rupert Murdoch, but that is one of the oddest comments I’ve ever read. Also, do you really think Rupert Murdoch went down to the animation offices and in a swarthy Australian accent went “I’ve made some sketches cause I hate that Disney guy, so make this and put it up on the Internet.” That way people can get mad and spread the word about how evil Fox is and stuff.

  • Fox is just fucking reprehensible. Actually, Disney’s pretty fucking reprehensible too, but DuckTales (which I didn’t much care for, for that matter) was based on Carl Barks’ Disney comics, which still stand miles above all but a very few comics published since. Uncle Scrooge was his creation, and demonstrated, in its own gentle way, what was ultimately wrong with capitalism. It did to a much younger version of me, anyway, for which I’ve always been grateful to Barks.

    So, yeah. Fox blows. Every fucking piece of animation they do blows. (Sorry, Matt–loved the first four seasons of the Simpsons and Futurama, but that was a long time ago.) Seth McFarlane’s reprehensible and a thorough hack, and this idiocy looks set to trump those.

    Oh, and fuck Rupert Murdoch and Roger Ailes and those who sail with them, too. (I know, I know, Fox News is a “separate entity”. Yeah, right.) Why don’t we have nice things any more, as the blogosphere’s fond of saying? Fox is a major reason.

    Did I mention “fuck Fox”? Of course I did, but one last time in closing is richly deserved.