Nerdist

I’m listening to this while I’m at work and I had to stop what I was doing when you started talking about your cat because tears were in my eyes. I had to put my 7 year old cat, Special Agent Spooky F. Mulder, down on New Years Eve. Spooky was diagnosed with diabetes a few months ago and the vet and I had a hard time getting his blood sugar under control. He was doing okay until that Monday when he suddenly crashed and I learned he had diabetic ketoacidosis that couldn’t be reversed. Letting him go was the hardest decision I ever made. He was my first and only pet. It’s been tough. Thanks for talking about your loss, Janet. Kitty love.

So I learned this morning that I can’t handle Janet crying. I will tear up at work and try to send invisible hugs.

It happens all the time. bit I have to say, Janet, the way you laugh away from the mic is really endearing.

My own childhood pet story didn’t hit me so much as it did my sister. We’d had this cat Sophie growing up- she was smart, friendly, had an incredible range of meows and purrs and a really expressive tail. She loved company- if you were watching TV, she’d hang around. If you were reading a cook, she’d sit on top of the arm you were using to hold the book. She especially liked lying in the grass, in the shade of my mom’s wheelbarrow if there was any gardening being done. She’d gotten sick when she was 6 and lost most of her kidney functions, but with lots of care and a low-protein diet, she was able to recover. Ten years later, when my parents had gone away on vacation, she started to get sick again. She called me at night and asked me to come over- she was still living at home, so she’d been taking care of the cats.

She knew there had been something wrong, but it was one of those gradual declines that makes it hard to pinpoint and act on. With the help of an uncle, we found an emergency vet, where we learned that she was too sick to help. We had to decide to put Sophie down. The whole thing was a shock to me, but my sister was saddled with all of those guilty thoughts you described, on top of questions like how we were going to tell my mom that her little miracle kitty had died.

We were able to look back at that near miss ten years earlier and think of how lucky we were to have had her all those extra years, but it still hurt at the time.

And to end on a less depressing note- were you able to see Birth of Venus while you were in Florence? That one is surprising in the opposite way the Mona Lisa is- it’s huge.

(And also Renoir’s Onions still life is the best)

So glad to hear that other people have the “but I just want to stay in wearing pyjamas” struggle, even though they do also want to socialise. It’s one of my challenges for this year to make myself say yes to more stuff instead of amusing myself at home (which I can do easily).

I don’t know why I continue to listen to this at work, but I can’t help myself. Janet, hearing about your cat destroyed me. *deep breath* I had to take the cat my wife and I raised from a kitten to be put to sleep while my wife was traveling in Europe. It was possibly the worst thing I have ever had to do. Our cat (“Seven”) was suffering from a terminal illness and she went downhill so fast I couldn’t wait for my wife to return from her trip. I can’t talk about it out loud it still upsets me so much and it’s been four years. Oof. I’m sharing this because grieving for pets is hard and it’s okay to be sad

I love this show through the ups and downs and I’m glad to be a part of your audience. I’m sorry for your loss. *hugs*

One of the hardest nights of my life was sitting with my cat as she died (she was old and had stopped eating and then just couldn’t get up anymore), but I just didn’t want her to be alone. I remember even just staring at her chest long after she stopped breathing, waiting for one of those labored breaths to come back out because even though I knew it was for the best, I didn’t want to say goodbye.

But enough of the sad stuff, here’s a story that will hopefully make you smile even though it is also about death. Back in middle school we were telling ghost stories for Halloween, and when we asked our teacher if she believed in ghosts she told us this story about her grandfather. When she was younger her grandfather died before he could take her to the carnival, as he had promised to do. One morning soon after she saw him walk into her room, sit down on the foot of the bed, and opened up his hands like he was folding open a book. In his palms was a carousel, and he apologized for not getting to take her, but said that he had brought the carnival to her. Whether it was a dream or there really are such things as ghosts or spirits, this story has always stuck with me and even helped me deal with the own deaths I’ve experienced in my life.

Thanks to everyone for sharing their stories.

I’m a little behind in listening but I wanted to express my deep sympathy for your loss. I was driving home from a takeout place listening to the podcast and was wondering if I’d have to pull over, it was making me cry so much.

Your story struck so close to home, although my 17 year old kitty is still with me. I adopted Bella as a stray 16 years ago. She has been my constant companion all these years. She sleeps with me every night and loves to snuggle in the evening.

A few months ago she developed a UTI. When I took her to the vet, we discovered that she had lost more than a pound in the previous six months since she had been seen for her checkup. When I took her back a few weeks later for a followup, she had lost more weight.

After lots of tests, we still don’t know exactly whats going on with her. The vet has me giving her B12 shots every other week and she seems to have stopped losing weight. However, she’s become a very delicate little girl. Next to my two much younger male cats, it has become so obvious how fragile she is. I suspect that I don’t have a lot of time left with my sweet girl and I don’t know how I will cope with losing her.

Pets are always there for you, even when the humans in your life let you down. They don’t judge and they always forgive your moods. The heartbreaking thing is that you can never really express how you feel about them, except through touch and tone of voice.

Anyway, Janet, I am crying again, but I just wanted to say that I thank you for your story, heartbreaking though it was. It reminded me to give my kitties as much affection as I can while I have them. Their little lives are so brief. Big hugs to you as you recover from this loss.