Learning the Right Way to Eat and Drink, Soda Can Edition
By Perry Michael Simon on October 15, 2012
Our friends over at Foodbeast have been on a learning kick, specifically learning how to eat and drink in a “proper” manner. That means learning that the bottom of the pop-up tab that opens a container of Tic-Tacs has a purpose, namely to dispense a single Tic-Tac for you to consume; learning how to eat a cupcake without making a pig of yourself (you twist part of the bottom off, put it on top, voila, instant frosting sandwich); the proper use of ketchup cups (they fan out!); and, now, how to drink from a can of soda with a straw.
Wait, you say, you already know how to do that? And you knew that the tab could be used to anchor your straw? Maybe YOU do, but Elie didn’t. He just now discovered that the pop-top tab swings around to provide a smaller hole that serves as a straw holder. Now, when he told me that, my first reaction was, wait, people still use straws in soda cans? And my second reaction was, don’t beer cans have that, and who drinks beer with a straw? Yet, there it is. Elie claims to have sensitive teeth, necessitating the use of a straw, and while I can sympathize — you know the dream where your teeth start to spontaneously disintegrate? That happened to me in REAL LIFE — I still… well, I don’t use a straw, so I had no reason to even think about using the tab like that. But if you use a straw…
Well, that’s another thing, because some of the comments at Foodbeast are dismissive. Yeah, they say, who didn’t know that? EVERYONE knows that. A zillion other websites are all ABOUT the straw-tab deal. It’s the most common of common knowledge. (Ah, Internet commenters, the Smartest Humans on Earth.) Well, then, impart your wisdom here in the comments: You got any of those tips for eating in the “right” way? Did you discover something obvious like that after seemingly everyone else did? And has anyone ever successfully used one of those mini boxes of cereal with the wax paper liner as a cereal bowl like the diagram on the side of the box said you could? (Do they still say that? I haven’t seen those since college, and, no, I always mangled the box) Let’s use this as a learning experience. We’ll be refined ladies and gentlemen yet.