How to Open a Beer Bottle the Hard Way(s)
by Perry Michael Simon on May 28, 2012
On a holiday (in the U.S.) when a lot of people will be cracking open a cold one or three or dozen, this video, Bottle Cap Blues, might prove to be instructive, as it shows several different ways to open a beer bottle, utilizing many sharp objects, plus some not-as-sharp objects (a slice of pizza?). I would advise folks not to try most of these at home, because if you’re that desperate to open a bottle of beer that you can’t even wait to scrounge up a bottle opener, maybe you don’t really NEED that beer after all. Try, also, not to utilize a method that leaves jagged glass at the opening, unless you like some blood with your IPA.
And while we’re contemplating ways to open beer bottles, while you’re enjoying your brew and burger, it may be a cliche to say that you should take a moment to remember the meaning of Memorial Day, but, cliche or not, you should anyway. Might as well raise your finally-opened bottle to the memory of the men and women who gave their lives in service to their country.