The Most Spoilery “Prometheus” Trailer Yet!!

Dude, 20th Century Fox must really be worried about people seeing Prometheus. On top of the two trailers and awesome viral campaign commercials, we now have yet another, longer, and more thing-filled trailer. Be warned, people: There are spoilers galore in this one. If you truly want to know nothing, well, then it’s probably too late, but if you don’t want to know any MORE about the movie, do NOT watch this trailer, and certainly do not read the next paragraph when I discuss it a bit.

We good? Everybody in? Spoilers okay? Okay.

FUCK. Each and every trailer I watch of this makes me more and more worried that I’m actually going to crap my pants in the theater. Will I have to wear Depend brand adult diapers when I go see it? I sure hope not. There sure are a ton of aliens in this new trailer, eh? Even more than last time. This really solidifies the belief thus far that the Space Jockeys have somehow tricked the Earthlings to this planet and that some sort of industrious, ever-changing alien entity is wreaking something (not havoc) on both of them. Are we witnessing the genesis of the Xenomorphs from the original film? Is the gooey stuff the building block of multi-mouthed, penis-headed life? We see a lot more of Charlize Theron’s all-business Meredith Vickers, and if she’s anything like the rest of the people we’ve seen working for “The Company,” things with her will be icy at best. We also see that a fair number of the crew don’t meet a very pleasant end. Even though there’s so much new to process in this trailer, we still have no idea what everything, or really anything, means.

Oh boy, I’m very excited. Very, very excited. Very, very, very excited. But seriously, Fox, we get it. You don’t need to show us any more – we’re in!

-Kanderson wears Depends all the time anyway. Follow him on TWITTER and listen to his PODCAST.

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