People Aren’t Funny
By Jake Kroeger on January 20, 2012
There has been a big brouhaha lately about whether and how women are funny. The recently deceased Christopher Hitchens, Jerry Lewis, and most recently, comic and former Letterman comedy booker Eddie Brill (who, to be fair, has stated on several occasions that he finds women funny, sometimes funnier than men), have sparked debate on a now contentious issue.
Yet, all of them are missing the much larger picture.
Whatever you are, you must have heard the following from a human friend who is enamoring you with the delight of a new video that they just watched on YouTube: “There’s this video of this cat that mimics its owner’s jazz hands. It’s so adorable and funny. However, you’ll never hear a cat talk up their human owner in the same way: “Meow. Prrrrr. kAAAAAAAAH!”
How is it possible that the human race, arguably the most intelligent species living on the planet earth, is not funny? Based on the specific DNA and unrivaled mastery of the opposable thumb, there’s no need for people to be funny. Every resource imaginable is at their disposal and, if it isn’t, they’ll develop a way to access it very soon. Because they have exploited their intellect to climb their way to the top of the evolutionary chain and, as we can all agree because I’m just saying so in this persuasive essay, humor is a function of recognizing imperfections and faults, people aren’t encouraged to make the effort to be hysterical. Leave it to kittens that don’t possess mastery over the beasts and fields to have to be funny for being “born into a losing struggle.”
I mean, don’t get me wrong. There are hilarious human beings. Most of them are have lead pathetic lives ridden with dire mistakes and horrid decisions spiraling them into a place below most of humanity where humor is one of a only few ways out of the hole they now reside in. Just look at any set of comedians to see lives of ill-advised debauchery and unnecessary ordeals for proof. It will become clear that there are funny humans, but it’s only because they embody the persona of something actually funny, like a pile of garbage.
The amazing eye-hand coordination of humans as well as the developmental process within the human brain certainly isn’t fodder for humor. Much of that has to do with the fact such genetic superiority is objectively not funny. Human abilities are perfect and, as such, infallible, which pretty much translates to being dull and boring.
To everything that isn’t human on earth, it’s hard to see them outside of the light of being the trailblazing species that takes everything for itself and never gives back. I mean, humans are just so greedy and self-destructive that they will all become batteries for the machines they invent.
And, let’s face it: potential batteries trying to be funny is just distracting.