Nerdist was started by Chris Hardwick and has grown to be a many headed beast.

Sex Toy Review: Time Lord Technology for Your Bits

by on July 22, 2011

Holding this wee bitty vibe in my hand, I am mystified. It must be bigger on the inside. How else to explain the thunder coming from within something the size of a snack?! I get very Tennant:

 “It’s impossible! Humans shouldn’t have this technology for another 200 years!”

Then back to my own voice:

“There’s no freaking way they put a motor that strong in a toy this small!”

Introducing the Mimi by Je Joue. It’s a fancy little toy. Comes in a fancy little box. I don’t care about any of this. I grasp it with the awe of something that shouldn’t exist. Every time I turn it on, I disbelieve. Part of me wants to smash it with a hammer to see what’s inside, but then I’d destroy a perfectly good bit of alien technology.


Vibrator Frequency: What to Know

I have been judging vibrator strength for years and I’ll tell you this: the size of the vibrator correlates closely with the depth of its frequency.

Soprano

Vibe strength has 2 elements: Intensity & Frequency. Intensity is strength, or how much power the motor is getting. Frequency is the pitch of vibration.

Think Celine Dion vs. Barry White. He’s got the base, while she’s got the treble. Similar goes for vibrators. Back massagers rumble deeply, while tiny little bullet vibrators buzz like a bee. They can hit some great notes, but they’re not gonna make the walls shake like Dr. Love.

(Currently Groovesharking me some Barry. Can’t get enough of his frequency, baby.)

But what to DO with it?

The utter simplicity of design makes it a great first-timer’s toy or anyone really. Get creative. Do what you want. Play. Sit on it even. There are no rules. It can be great for grinding against and since it fits in the palm of my pathetically small hands it seems fair to say it’s easy to hold. It also has a little bit of weight to it so it stays put nicely.

Other Design Features

  • Flat-ish: Great for broad pressing up against the vulva. Doesn’t roll away
  • Soft-ish: The silicone-covered casing creates a pleasantly firm body.
  • Scuba-ish: Waterproof. Bath it up, naughty monkey.

Gritty Details

MiMi runs about $80, which isn’t bad considering it is rechargeable, super quiet and covered with 100% medical grade silicone. It charges through a magnetically tipped cell phone charger-looking cable that attaches to the buttons.

*Note about the buttons: My one complaint is that the buttons are hard to press. Not everyone has fierce piano playing fingers, so if you’re not the best at pressing firmly for 3 seconds to turn the thing on, MiMi will be a challenge.

Oh, did I mention it has 5 speeds of intensity & 5 pulsation modes? It starts out real mellow and gets serious fast.

Quick Comparisons

LELO SIRIThough Siri also pulls off a great rumble, MiMi is respectably stronger. They’re similar in size, with Siri also having a lovely nestling convex design on one side.

Vibrating Bullet with Cabled Battery Pack

Stronger than a speeding bullet, Mimi wins that battle. These guys pack a good punch for cheap but break often and you’ve got a whole situation hanging off your toy.

The Rabbit

MiMi was designed as an outside toy. Any dual-stimulating design like the rabbit targets both inner & outer zones. It’s a highly personal choice. The rabbit’s vibration is often similar to the Silver Egg above.

A Final Vow of Curiosity

MiMi and I shall be great friends for a long while, but fair warning. If it ever shall break, I will tear it apart the ferocity of a pre-cybermen Torchwood.

For now, I don’t understand it, but I’ll enjoy the mystery!

 

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~Sex Nerd Sandra