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Breast Milk: The Liquid Gold Rush

Congratulations, boys, you’ve made it past the title. Girls, you knew you couldn’t look away. Hey, it’s no secret that babies are expensive. That’s why I plan to get my future children into baby modeling. Although, a new trend has emerged that could keep me from potentially exploiting my future offspring: Freelance Breast Milking. New moms who are unable to work can sell their excess breast milk on the web for some serious coin. How much? One new mom raked in an extra $20,000 last year selling her milk. But even working moms can do this. Who doesn’t need extra cash?

There is virtually no downside for the seller (except perhaps a little uneasiness), but buyer beware. Breast milk can transfer serious diseases such as HIV or hepatitis and there is little to no screening on these sites. So what you do? Would you ever consider selling your breast milk? Would you buy online if you couldn’t get the real deal at home?

And nerds, please know I would never put my kids in show business. My last name isn’t Smith.

 

 

 

 

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16 comments

  • For a second there, I thought she was holding breast milk CHEESE.
    (Please don’t try that idea. I can’t fathom such things.)

    I think my babies would be just fine not drinking someone else’s breast milk.

    Consider me the Vegan of foreign human breast-milk if there was one.

  • In my day this was called hiring (or hiring yourself out as) a wet nurse – and you had to interact directly with other humans to do it! The pay was lousy; and the streets were crowded with pickpockets who’d cut your throat as soon as look at you! One of them stole my Penny Farthing right out from under me…

  • It took me awhile to realize that meant two of Will Smith’s children. It’s such a generic last name that I got incredibly lost and somehow thought it was a roundabout reference to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie through Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I figured it was something do with how pretty they and their resulting genetic offspring are? (I have no idea which of their kids are adopted or how many exist.)

    Anyway, there was a featured article in Wired within the last couple months that did introduce me to the concept which also cited a couple of the same sites.

  • If I were to go down this road:
    1) I force-pump my mammary glands to activate production.
    2) I become mildly wealthy from years of lactation-for-profit.
    3) One night, I have a deeply existential tantrum, collapsing against a wall into a sobbing heap.
    4) I buy a boat.

    But time is in flux. I choose soy milk..

  • my oldest son was born premature, and while my wife had no supply problems there were some moms in the NICU who couldn’t produce milk. a preemie’s digestive system can sometimes not be mature enough/be too sensitive for formulas, so donor breastmilk (from a milk-bank of screened donors & tested milk) was the best option.

    sorry to be mr. serious. as you were.

  • Some mom’s cannot produce enough milk and need extra supply. Why not use milk rather than formula? My wife donated around 100 oz of milk to a local person. She was going to donate or sell more, but haven’t gotten around to it. We still have around 200 oz of frozen milk in the freezer (down from 800 oz) . We see it as more of a service to the mother’s and babies in need rather than a profit center, but who doesn’t take any idea and try to make some money? From the information I have learned with my wife going through breast feeding, this is a much needed and better service than formula. I rather have mothers and babies get milk than some chemically made powder from a lab. I do think that anyone that is looking into getting milk from someone else should have the milk tested and the person screened so to keep away from bad stuff.

  • Did you ever think that thier kids were inspierd my thier parents careers and wanted stardom and used their chains to fast forward thier careers right or worng fyi they have older kids not in entertaiment.

    @snugfly

  • I don’t think there’s anything wrong with selling breast milk. It’s a bodily fluid and it’s not much of a leap to getting money for plasma donations. Also lactating women hired themselves out as wet nurses during bygone times to make money and is still accepted in many cultures. We didn’t always have Similac and not everyone can nurse so it was important that the baby was fed properly :) I would however, would be hesitant about buying it online without knowing the health status of the donor. So many things like disease and the drugs the donor may be taking can be transmitted through breast milk

  • I think it’s funny how Cow milk is considered “milk” to humans, but human milk is considered “breast milk,” and somehow seems more taboo than harvesting the same substance from another species.

    Not that I have an issue with that. Love me some moo juice.

  • I am a mother of two healthy baby boys. One a two year old and my other baby born at the end of December. I have a wonderful supply of amazing breast milk high in fatty acids. My baby has not had any problems with reflux, colic, diarrhea, or gas. I currently have over 1,000oz of frozen milk, all less than 3 weeks old! I would love to help out any one who needs it.

    I don’t smoke, use any drugs or drink any alcohol. I eat a healthy diet, with home cook meals with lots of vegetables and fruits and lean proteins. I take my prenatal vitamin and calcium suplements everyday.

    Every oz of milk has been packaged in pre-sterilized Lansinoh bags. Each bag contains 10 oz of milk & is dated and timed. All of the milk has been frozen after 1st chilled in the refrigerator immediately after pumping.

    Breat milk is $1.00 per oz buyer responsible for shipping/packaging fees. Willing to deliver locally in Houston, Texas area. Any questions please do not hesitate to contact me at ElizabethClarkeForever@yahoo.com

    Doctor’s note available upon request.