A Letter To The Internet
by Matthew Burnside on January 31, 2011
I wrote you this letter.
I love you, Internet. I love you harder everyday. When I wake up, I could go outside and soak in some much needed vitamin D. Instead, I run to you, Internet. You comfort me, tuck me into bed, join me for most meals. When I’m depressed you show me this, and this, and this too, and we LOL.
It wasn’t always this way. You had to seduce me first. You’d say, “Don’t worry about doing other stuff. You’ll have to think, or move, or do something else I don’t care to think of. Your parents see me as a distraction and as a threat. That gives you a rush. Use me. Download this video on Limewire. It may be racist, but it’s 2001, or something like that, you’re young and stupid. It will be funny to you.”
You were so right. I was young and stupid, but not anymore. I use you to learn how to do this, and this, and this too. You make me think about life’s important questions. You open me up to artists of the higher culture. I’m better because of you.
I don’t know how you do it, Internet, but you always manage to fulfill desires I don’t know I have. Take this grid of video game consoles for example. I never knew it, but I’ve wanted to see that my entire life.
I’m told Egypt doesn’t have you right now. Not sure why. I suppose I could use you to read the news, but why would I do that when I could go to this site.
Urz 4 Eva,