The Coffee Nerdist: Coffee Holidaze
by A Real Person on December 1, 2010
The holidays have arrived and along with them the soothing family-inspired feelings of “What is going to get me out of here faster—using this carving knife to slice through the nearby window that’s painted shut or giving myself a gash just big enough that the ambulance will cover my escape?” Sure, Thanksgiving’s over, but now you’ve exhausted your year-so-far small talk and don’t have the excuse of “Well, have to get back to work Monday..” Nope, you’re going to be here a long time, so you better have mad Boggle skills or a medical condition that requires sudden and lengthy trips out of the room.
It doesn’t have to be this way, coffee friends. While it may not be acceptable to leave the house for a smoke break anymore, no decent human being can object to you leaving the room to make coffee… especially if you promise to bring them back a cup.
From here to… anywhere else
Maybe you’re just bringing the coffee to be friendly, but the key ingredient remains the same- tasty coffee for you and whoever you deem worthy, but which one?. Choosing a coffee for the holidays can be tricky. Picking a lowest-common-denominator crowd-pleaser could leave you with boring coffee, but far worse is the case where you shell out top dollar for a coffee that leads with lime, white wine, and mandarin orange only to have it pushed to the sideline with calls of “Whoa; This coffee’s too weird; I think there’s some Folgers instant back here in the cupboard.”
Compliments for complements
The easiest way to pick a coffee that will be compatible with your holidays is to find one whose flavors will complement the food it will be served with. Here’s a few tasty examples.
Morning: Step-Grandma Gloria’s lemon pound cake
The pound cake really leaves no calorie to chance, but it’s the holidays right? Reach for something like Stumptown’s Kenya Gachami Peaberry. Its citrus and berry flavors should complement the lemon in the pound cake and lead to flavor explosions and sugar/caffeine euphoria in no time.
The Main Event: Momma Claire’s cured ham, dressing, and pie
Do not mistake the large meal as anything short of a flavor showdown with each dish battling for palate supremacy. Do you go with an Indonesian coffee to compare with the buttery meat flavors? A Central/ South American coffee to compare with the baked fruit flavors in the pie? Fortunately, coffee roasters have seen this dilemma before and raced to the rescue with seasonal blends that do all the heavy lifting for you. Witness Intelligentsia’s Celebration Blend combining lemon drop and cocoa with spice and maple flavors. On the other hand, there are times when a single-farm coffee can do a beautiful job all by itself, for example, PT’s Costa Rica Finca Cerro Paldo with its sweetness, buttery caramel, and milk chocolate flavors.
Making your escape
Sure, any of these coffees will put you in the good graces of your hosts, maybe even crotchety Grandpa Jay, but how… to… get… away? It’s really about how much time you want away. Just need a little 5 minute break? Have your coffee ground for press pot, boil your water on the stove, and brew a few cups.
Looking for enough time to forget how Uncle Mitchell just impugned your personhood, maybe 15 to 20 minutes? Time to break out your Hario hand grinder and V60 to brew slow, loud, and by-the-cup.
Critical to this entire operation is having the right coffee gear. Gizmodo has a pretty fun coffee roundup, whether the items are for your personal cache or for others as gifts.
If you have burning coffee questions that would make interesting Nerdist Coffee fodder, please @me or add a comment below.