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Nerdist was started by Chris Hardwick and has grown to be a many headed beast.

Sex Toy Review: A Real Tongue-Lashing

by on December 17, 2010

You know that over-used cliché, “We’re not trying to reinvent the wheel”?  Well, someone just did.

Behold! The sqweel! An oral sex device for the ages.

Of course, I can’t help but think of medieval torture with the thing. I feel like I should extract confessions with it, or at least refine flour.

Despite the industrial look of the toy, the sqweel is a joy. It’s fun. Silly, even. And with ten flexible tongues, it can definitely get down to business.

I’ve been meaning to try the sqweel for a while now. After moving across town and a bit of final unpacking, I figured I’d reward myself with a little go at it.

I ended up going for an hour and a half. And of course, who wouldn’t I want to share this experience with, but with you. Here’s my first video review:


(Editor’s Note: Mildly NSFW (language), but informative and chock full o’ redeeming social value!  Plus lube!)

 
17 comments read them below or add one

  1. Sandra.. you are my kinda girl, girlfriend!!

    After watching your videos, I think i need to take a cigarette break …

  3. Interesting. Try explaining that one away when someone goes rifling through your drawers for a pen. But, we all need our share of good times, I guess.
    I swear there must have been a doobie assisting this romantic evening, no?

  8. I enjoyed your professionalism. And yes, worrying about saying “fuck” in a blog about sex toys is rather hilarious.

  10. Hey Sandra good to see you back! I hope you’re feeling better!!

    Informative… yes… looking very cute BTW… but why does it just scream (ha scream) paddle boat ? I mean, do you or your partner whose using it on you have speak in a polite Southern drawl when you use it?

    “Yes, ma’am, I do declare these waves will be trashing us about shortly”
    “Oh my why Captain, I believe you’ve done given me the vapors, oh my!”
    “Y’all know a good captain does know when to throttle back his ship, in case of just such emergencies”

    Ok hahah that was F*@&ing terrible but still fun post and glad to see you well… hell just glad to see ya!

  13. Aww, you all are too kind.

    @DefconDan – yup, feeling almost 100%. I’ll be posting about the experience once I get the all clear.

    @Sherry – Ha. Just an old fashioned good time after a long day ;)

  14. Hi Sandra, I take it you are a 69 kinda gal? If being licked from the bottom up feels weird???

    But let’s be frank, who really is going to want a high speed tongue lashing on their bits? I think you can get a single tongue device that wiggles about. This looks like your clit would get the same treatment a boxer gives to the punch-bag in the gym.

    Also you say your session went for 1 and a half hours, and maybe it’s my fragile male ego, but I can’t see that being a good thing. You look suitably glowing in the after video, but 90 minutes!!! can you even walk? I know we are all different, but when your video ends, and YouTube offers similar videos, One called “look into my eyes” depicts a young lass suggesting it takes her less than 5 minutes to get to the same point. To me that indicates that the Sqweel isn’t the right tool for the job, or that you are far less aroused by the idea of the whole of the internet knowing what you were up to? ;-)

    Can I end by saying thanks for sharing, it was beautiful and not in a pervy way, to see the camera jump from your pre to post state, it was provoking as art itself and made my heart grow two sizes, a real wow moment.

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