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Nerdist was started by Chris Hardwick and has grown to be a many headed beast.

I Almost Didn’t Fart In Your General Direction

by on October 7, 2010

This bit of gold speaks for itself. Fortunately the Pythons ignored it. Most importantly, their stationary if fucking AWESOME.

via Jonah Ray

 
23 comments read them below or add one

  1. That is too funny! “Lose as many shits as possible” has got to be the best sentence in the whole letter. Thanks for sharing that, Jonah!

  2. This is currently my 7 yr old daughter’s favorite movie…the original release. It got an ‘A’ in my house anyway. Glad they ignored this shit too. Nothing like trying to get out the door with a 7 yr old on her knees hanging around your legs shouting ‘None Shall Pass!’.

  3. Maybe they’ll release a new BD with this advice finally taking into consideration. While they’re at it, I think they should digitally replace all of the swords with flashlights…and maybe CGI in some real horses. Also, Brave Sir Robin ran away first.

  4. Oopsies! Thank you Chris, for sharing that via Jonah. :) All thank yous covered now, I hope. JC, cute story about your 7 year old.

  5. I’m sure there were a lot of 5-14 year olds who were really sad they didn’t get to go. Saying “shit” is questionable but talking about oral sex and testicles is perfectly fine. Oh, Britain.

  6. Why would they have to lose “I fart in your general direction” for 5-14 year olds? Isn’t that the key demographic for fart jokes? I know my nieces and nephews (all 13 and under) love that stuff! :-)

  7. On this topic, how come “Shut the front door!” has become a standard phrase? Didn’t it originate as a tv modification for another phrase?

    Growing up, when someone cut her off in traffic, etc., my mother used to call people “an apple.” Use the word, you mean it!

  9. When my mom got cut off in traffic, her alternative to flipping the bird was to shout sarcastically, “A GENTLEMAN AND A SCHOLAR!” When I heard someone at work use the phrase in earnest I didn’t even know where to look.

    Love your kid, JC!

  10. I hate to bursts everyone’s bubble, but the pic looks to be altered. Looks at the date, Mark’s name and signature, and all the cuss words seem to be darker and crisper than the other words. Maybe its just me, i dunno.

  11. Clove, you’re clearly a young-un and have never seen a document typed from AN ACTUAL TYPEWRITER. Letters have different weights depending on the accident of how hard to typist happened to strike the key. You kids are ADORABLE with your not knowing how analog technology works!

  12. :D haha

    I for one am glad Holy Grail didn’t go for the 5 – 14 audience.

    I used to have a typewriter back in the day it weighed a freakin ton. I will never bitch about my 4 pound notebook.

  13. Here I was, grieving over not really having the resources to see the lovely Mr. Hardwick at the Largo next Monday, and the guy brightens my day with memories of one of my all-time favorite films! Now that’s what I call a “Master” of timing. Many thanks for the entertainment I derived from both the letter AND the amusing comments that followed!

  14. When I was little my mother forced my roadrageous father to call asshole drivers “turkeys” instead of, well, assholes. She had (has) this insane theory that screaming “TURKEY!” would burn my little impressionable ears less than “ASSHOLE!” All it did was confuse me, because I like turkey and couldn’t understand where the turkeys were and why Dad hated them so much.

    Oddly enough, Mom was the one who showed me Holy Grail age of 11 (much to her later dismay, as I STILL quote it 17 years later).

    I’m so glad that “Mike” (Michael Palin, I presume?) didn’t take this letter’s advice.

  15. i love this ! my friends and i saw this movie when we were 12 and stil throw the insult ” i fart in your general direction” at each other . it’s so awesomley absurd! i shudder to think if this line had of been taken out , my whole world would be different. ;)
    good on the pythons for stickin to their guns!

  16. Ah, Chris, the voice of reason. I remember taking typing class in high school. They had the nice elite typewriters. We had a pica typewriter at my parent’s house. You’re right, there was never any uniform distribution of ink for every letter one typed, therefore, some letters looked darker than others, much like in the letter pictured above. I don’t miss typewriters, or white-out, and I especially don’t miss changing the typewriter ribbon. Kids! You know I love them!

  17. So glad they ignored the censors! This is a classic. FYI a typewriter flung in your general direction can leave you with more than ” just a flesh wound”

  18. Now I’ll be quoting from the movie all morning. 8D I LOVE quoting from this movie!

    “You’ll like her! What’s wrong with her? She’s beautiful, she’s rich, she’s got huge….. tracts of land.”

  19. Mr. Hardwick you have a good point. But does the ink from typewriters blur on regular words, and get crisp and clearer on funny words like “shits” and “fuck offs?” You have sooo much to teach me Mr. Hardwick.

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