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Win/Win/Fail, Episode III: Tractor Beams and Pokemon Freaks

Put on your game face, strap on your pads, and lock your grandmother in the shed…it’s time for Win/Win/Fail!

WIN: Laser Tractor Beams

Don’t you hate it when you’re chasing a pesky Rebel ship and they won’t just surrender already so you can take them on board and introduce them to Dr. Ball? No? Well how about when you’re out of toilet paper and all the rolls are in the closet wayyyyy over there? Well, there’s no need to get up, and you won’t even need the force, because the Aussies have figured out tractor beams, people!

Image of the Australian researchers' lab


Australian researchers have found a way to move particles of glass distances of at least 5 feet using laser beams. It works by centering the small object within a hollow laser beam, which heats the air surrounding the object and keeps it steady. Changes in heat behind the object can then move it along the beam. Of course, to move anything large would take one hell of a laser.

[via Gizmodo]

WIN: Pokemon Fusion

This clever bit of code allows you to be some kind of crazy scientist and fuse two Pokemon together to see what their love-child would look like. Mix pretty much anything with Pikachu to get a cuteness overload, or see what kind of monstrosity you can come up with. Like this:

MY GOD WHAT IS THAT THING?!

[via Geekologie]

FAIL: Treadway Motorized Shoes

Hey, you know what I’m just sick and tired of? WALKING. All that incessant muscle use. It’s got me on my last nerve. What? Wheelie shoes? Fuck that, I’d still have to get a running start with those things. No, what I need is a shoe with a motorized treadmill on the heel so I don’t have to walk from my car to the front door any more. I mean, what is this, the stone age? I DEMAND AUTOMATION. And can we PLEASE invent a robot that will shovel food into my mouth?

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4 comments

  • AT LAST!!!!

    HE’S DONE IT!!!!

    I was waiting for somebody to come along and invent some way to make Wheelie Shoes even more douche-y for anybody over the age of 12… which he has done with the addition of the anti-cool of a fanny-pack with motors that look like 1970s ankle weights.

    Kudos, sir!

  • I’m glad you like the tractor beam, I’m sure our less-than-useless Foreign Investment Review Board (FIRB) is preparing to sell it to the States as we speak.

  • After tinkering a bit with the Pokemixer, I found that it wasn’t too difficult to find funny and innapropriate mixes. Unfortunately, it seems as if the creator hadn’t anticipated the possibility of rape. I mean there were ones that SAID rape like Warape and Caterape which is ALMOST at Date Rape. Another good rapemon was Rapiysaur as long as you pronounce it like rapey-saur, the rape dinosaur, and my nickname in college. But the best has to be the most straight forward. Butterape. Some of my other favorites were the dynamic duo Weedpuff and Weedash, the Pokemon bro Mandude, and of course Manbra and Squirtqueen.