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Nerdist was started by Chris Hardwick and has grown to be a many headed beast.

10 Robots I’d Like To FK

by on September 2, 2010

I blurred the robot sexy bits out for you people who have day jobs and intolerant bosses. You

IGN and Kotaku reported some exciting Fallout: New Vegas news this weekend! ROBOT CONGRESS WILL BE ALLUDED TO OR SOMETHING. It seems sex with robots is totally a go for the upcoming apocalypse (game). Here is what the ESRB says:

There is also an extended sequence suggesting (no depiction) sexual activity with a robot (e.g., “Fisto reporting for duty . . . Please assume the position,” “I suppose I should test you out . . . Servos active!” and “Something wrong with someone if they got to f**k a machine.”)

So…yeah. You can have sex with a robot named Fisto in the new Fallout game without his/her consent. Huh.

While I may not be down with the idea of robot rape, this news got me to thinking about electronically enhanced human-esque borg things I’d totally do the dirty with in a pinch.

1. Samuel T. Anders (callsign “Longshot”) from BSG

Cylon bed head rrrrrrroooowww

Need I specify the pre goo bath/oracle flying into the sun Anders? Well, I just did anyway.

2. Sonny (The robot from I, Robot)

Dude can do serious Chop Socky. I just wish he’d killed Shia LaBeouf before he could ruin the Transformers for me forever.

3. Annalee Call (Alien Resurrection)

Robot/alien sexual tension!

Winona Ryder’s least annoying role in the most controversial of Alien movies.


4. Marvin the Paranoid Android Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

In the film, Marvin was a big headed white pot bellied thing but in my dreams he’s Peter Saarsgard, amirite?

5. Sam Worthington as Marcus Wright in Terminator Salvation

While the movie was a punch in the gut to Terminator fans, Worthington’s character was a glimmer of hope in an otherwise shitty two plus hours of McG’s masturbatory poopfest.

6. Summer Glau as Cameron in The Sarah Connor Chronicles

Yep.

Well, duh.

7. Buffybot

8. Harrison Ford as Rick Deckard in Blade Runner

From the Montgomery Ward "Blade Runner" line of men's apparel

Yes. Deckard is a replicant, 9/11 was an inside job, and Inception was ALL a dream. MOVING ON.

9. Jude Law as “Gigolo Joe” in AI

So pretty. So sad. So pretty. So sad. SPLOOGE.

10. Lor from Star Trek:TNG

Getting head joke goes here!

He’s like Data but without Spot the cat, boring morals, and the Sherlock Holmes obsession!

With whom would you make sweet sweet robot love (video game robots too obvs!) ? Tell me in the comments!

 
23 comments read them below or add one

  4. Honorary mention to Mr Universe’s sex bot from Serenity. Oh, and Summer Glau is waaaaay too low on the list. A robot designed from an ex ballerina . . . the positions would be practically endless!

  5. Timothy Olyphant as 47 in Hitman. Not literally a robot, but close enough. ALSO: SWOON!

    and maybe, just maybe, 790 from Lexx.

  7. I’m sorry. I can’t get past “So pretty. So sad. SPLOOGE” to even think about which robot I’d wanna reconfigure. Tooo funny. But if anyone says Vickie from Small Wonder, I’m outta here.

  8. Can I just say, thanks for the spoiler! I’m in the middle of watching BSG and the very first thing I saw on this post was a gigantic freaking spoiler. NOT COOL! A little warning? As nerds, surely you can appreciate this concept! I’m so bent out of shape now! What the frack! (I do still love the nerdist though.)

  11. Seriously Catch up on BSG already! sheesh!

    I’m a bit bummed that Cameron only made it to 6. she’d be my first choice ‘wink’

  12. If you’re into really skinny robot skeletons, Geoff Petersen, Robot Skeleton from The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, would be fun if he had a penis. He was designed & built by Grant Imahara from Mythbusters. He probably wouldn’t kiss & tell. :)

  17. I’d like to throw Locutus of Borg as another sponge worthy robot/man.
    He is afterall the sexy Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Star Ship Enterprise. :-)

  20. Hookerbot 5000 from Futurama… I mean if she’s paid to do it she must be good, right? Either her or the Robot Devil.

  22. How about Kryton from “Red Drawf”? He had that whole “groin attachment” thing going. He sounded like a walking, talking sybian. WOO HOO!!! :-P

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