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The Week in Sharks Will Not Be Seen Tonight

Your Shark Nerdist is absolutely swamped organizing a Brooklyn zine fair for the weekend; New Yorkers are encouraged to attend. As are non-New Yorkers, I guess, but seriously, first look to your children or something.

To tide you over, we present sharks “doing it,” and also penguin soccer. See you on Monday.

Three magical words: Nurse. Shark. Porno. Nurse sharks like it rough. Maybe NSFW? I mean, there’s—spoiler alert!—a big wad of shark jizz floating in the water at one point, so that’s…fun?

After your done with the sex, get ready for SPORTS! Here are anthropomorphic penguins freaking out and attacking a ball like they want to kill the heck out of it. Seriously. That’s not good healthy penguin fun. GOOOOOOOOOOAL!

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5 comments

  • Hmm, not sure if I’d call seeing shark jizz floating around in the water “fun”. You weren’t kidding when you said those nurse sharks like it rough. Holy crap! Couldn’t access the second video about penguins. First video: They make for pretty boring soccer players. LOL! Thanks for sharing!

  • I saw an article the other day and thought of our resident Shark Nerdist, even though it’s not TECHNICALLY about REAL sharks. Of course, I can’t find the link now, but! It was something about finding the original mechanical Jaws in a junkyard.

    That’s probably not something you want people to immediately associate with you, huh? TOO BAD! Already happened!

  • First – shark porn is the best porn. It’s just fact. Second-of-ly, I know that “antropomorphic” is a typo, but I looked up the prefix “antro” just to see if it manipulated the word hilariously, and oh brother does it. According to Urban Dictionary, an antro is “a Mexican nightclub that usually plays techno, alternative rock, reggaeton, or hiphop.” Therefore, I recommend we all start a penguin soccer league in our respective local antros – I smell human-like gold! Wordplay!