First of all, I love you guys. A LOT. There were 225 entries for this contest, which marks a 400% growth from the first one. I thoroughly enjoyed reading through each and every entry and I look foward to many more of these in the future. I got a lotta tech toys to give away, so why shouldn’t YOUR hands be clasping some shiny new electronic object while you jump for joy near your mailbox? I hope you all keep playing…the contests will change up from time to time to attempt to tap your various talents.
And now to announce the WINNER of a brand new still-in-the-box iP47 Bluetooth iPod/iPhone Dock…
CONGRATULATIONS….
kerry
Well done, kerry!!! I loved this because it was conceptual yet simple. And it made me laugh out loud. That also helped.
This, however, was not the only one that made me laugh out loud. I’ve decided to award two runner-up Nerdists with $20 iTunes gift cards each.
M Butler: Prawn to E5
Max A: “So’s your face.”
The former was an excellent use of both a lobster and a chess reference and the latter just cracked me up. Clearly, I’m a 7th grader. I will email all three of you with info about your prizes! Sweet business!!!
Of course, this wouldn’t be any fun without a series of non-tangible-prize-getting Honorable Mention Awards, so here goes:
POLITICAL SATIRE AWARD
freality:
Shaking his head in disbelief while sighing the words “holy f*ck” under his breath, Barack Obama snaps one final photo of the Bush administration’s “Iraq War Strategery Table” before dismantling.
FILM GEEK REFERENCE AWARD
lawei
Lobster 1: No! where’d you get that steel? Isn’t that Bud’s Hattori Hanzo?!
Lobster 2: (smirk) Not anymore, and you are going to see him right now!
AOTS REFERENCE AWARD
Doc
Lobster 1: “Look at it this way, at least you’ll end up in Olivia Munn’s mouth first…”
Lobster 2: “In that case, make it quick.”
CHESS CLUB AWARD
Andy
“Yes I CAN take the move back… my claw was still touching the piece.”
NARRATIVE AWARD
LUDAchris469
“You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with fricken’ laser beams strapped to their heads! Now evidently my cycloptic colleague informs me that that cannot be done. Ah, would you remind me what I pay you people for, honestly? Throw me a bone here! What do we have?”
“Lobsters.”
“Right….”
“They’re chess playing lobsters.”
“Are they ill tempered?”
“Absolutely.”
“Oh well, that’s a start.”
ZACH GALIFIANAKIS AWARD FOR SKEWED PERSPECTIVE
Silent
another good reason why lobsters should only play checkers
CROSS-PROMOTION AWARD
Rich
NOT NEWS: Fight over chess game.
NEWS: They’re lobsters.
FARK: They’re both left-handed!
CARTESIAN MEDITATION AWARD
Eric Haines
“Time, silverware and chess are all irrelevant to us as lobsters. The question is: how did we get onto the table?”
ALTERNATIVE COMEDY META AWARD
Skipping Beats
There is actually an incredibly moving back story to this image that involves lust, broken mentality, and the ties of friendship….but that would be too hard to write about, so instead I am just going to reference pop culture!
Lobster 1 – “Movie quote, verb, Movie quote”
Lobster 2 – “Pun about chess and/or lobsters”
THE WHAAA? AWARD
Victor Morales
LOBSTERS
If they had knives
They would play chess.
(motivational)
THE “FAR SIDE” CAPTION AWARD
spiritkittykat
In the final moments of the game, Barnaby and Finneaus realized there were no winners. The pieces were swept aside, the knives were clasped in their claws and the fight was on!
BOOKWORM AWARD
KateMcSweeney
Lobster 1: One false move Homarus and I will pierce you to the Cephalothorax!
Lobster 2: You best make haste Telson! I have a foil of my own, and we shall see who has the upper Cheliped!
TIMELY REFERENCE AWARD
Calebino
To Save Some Pride, They killed Themselves Before Kirstie Alley Could.
EXTRA CREDIT AWARD
Tony D
http://img.imgcake.com/217_14688.jpg
TOO LATE AWARD
Kate Lister
I know it’s too late but: Prawns look on as Pawns get Rooked
SPORTS AWARD
Felix
Lobster chess has fared only slightly better than the WNBA in ratings.
BENNY HILL AWARD IN THE AREA OF PUN ACHIEVEMENT
David Crain
“There’s no use crying over spilt….milt!
…and an award many of us can particularly relate to…
SELF-FLAGELLATION AWARD
Michael LaMere
“If he pulls a knife, you pull a….well a knife I guess”
“Hey crapbag you forgot the black pieces, looks like we have to settle this with knives or a dance off like in that Michael Jackson video.”
“Who put a mirror on the other side of this chess board.?”
P.S. These are all dumb, but I wanted to put my two cents in at least.
Michael
———————————————————————————
Once again I thank you all for your time and salute your creativity. You guys are “the mutt’s nuts” as they say in Britannia.
As an added bonus, here was the outcome of the lobster fight. You’ll notice the one lobster is very classy because he’s eating lobster.
{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
I was robbed. Also, I’m a sore loser.
I thought mine at least deserved a honorable mention atleast the seaworld onehaha. oh well though congrats to the winners! maybe ill get one next time
I really enjoy whipping myself and or punishing myself. To get the Self-Flagellation award really honors me. If I were cleaver I might say, “it hurts so good” but then I would promoting terrible 80′s songs and that just ain’t right either. I’m also pretty sure John Mellencamp wouldn’t want to be associated with me. That could only damage his career.
Thanks again for the award and I hope to at least get honorable mention for a non-tangible prize in the next photo caption contest.
Bill Nye’s back on so I have to go. I have too much respect for Bill Nye to DVR his show so I have to wait through the commercials about non-environmentally safe products. God Bless America.
Here’s an idea, write a song about Eco-Savages that make you feel guilty about turning on your light switch so you can avoid falling down the stairs and breaking your neck.
Michael
One of these days, I’ll actually participate in one of these things. Though if I had won, I wouldn’t have been able to do much with the prize since I don’t have an iPhone or iPod…
And the Narrative Award goes to:
LUDAchris!!!
OMG! I have so many people I would like to thank. First off, I would like to thank God himself for giving me this incredible sense of humor. Ummm, wow, I can’t believe this, uh, my mom, who always told me that my humor would of the off-beat variety. I’d like to thank my writers, who through out the strike still stuck by me. Ummm, I’d like to thank (wrap it up music starts playing) DONT PLAY THAT MUSIC YET, I’M NOT DONE!! I’d like to thank the fans and of course Chris Hardwick who has been an inspiration to me ever since I was a little nerdist myself. Thank you once again! NOW YOU CAN PLAY THAT MUSIC!!
Congrats everyone!!!
meeeeee? my mom was right – i AM a winner! huzzah!
This was a lot of fun. I can not wait for other ones to participate in. Win or lose it was cool it was cool to see other people’s answers. Congrats to the winners.
Congrats kerry you were funny! the Hardwick has a good eye for humour!
Congratulations, Kerry! Yours was my favorite, as well!
I was also a fan of Skipping Beats’ “This is exactly why MY lobsters go to PRIVATE school!” and Katie’s “Most obscure fetish ever.”
Whoo! LOVE the contests, Chris!!
NIIIICE! That was too much fun! All of my thesaurusing paid off!…sorta… lol!
Congrats to Kerry!
I am pleased.
YAY! I won an honorable mention! I would have liked the dock…but Kerry was superior in captioning…so congrats to you!
But, I won an honorable mention!
I’s happy!
(sigh)..Not even an honorable mention. I must now commit Harry Carey [sic] with my katana. NO, IT”S NOT BUD’S HATORI HANZO!
Shut up. :p
Congrats to Kerry!!! So funny that it broke my 12 year self-imposed ban on arthropod humor. Well done!
If I had been quicker on the draw, I might have submitted:
“I admit it. You are better than I am.”
“Then why are you smiling?’
“Because I know something you don’t know”
“And what is that?”
“I am not left-handed!”
THE WHAAA? AWARD
Victor Morales
I’d like to thank the academy.
i for one thought that the one that read “Red lobster is a very exclusive organization, so were going to have….tryouts” was a shoe in. that one really made me laugh
You know what, Charlie? You’re right. I still would’ve given the gold to kerry but that one should have gotten an honorable mention award.
“Prawn to E5″ was the clear winner in my book.
i hate kerry he or she is a douchebag
im depressed and i want to die.
You can use these HTML tags and attributes: