Alright, Nerdlings…This is the first of hopefully many contests aboard the SS Nerdist. Load up the comment thread with your best captions for this pic. The winner will receive a $50 iTunes gift card. Captions must be submitted by Friday, 8/22 and the winner will be announced on Monday, 8/25.
{ 54 comments… read them below or add one }
We finally see the one pulling the strings at Rodent Idol.
The master of animal magic, Maestro Hardwich attempts his break through trick of removing the mice’s table cloth but leaving them, mean while he must deal with his finicky new assistant. Damn non-union squirrel helper really tries to get some camera time, the mice judges will not be pleased, and we all know they are a stiff crowd
Chris Hardwick lover of all squirrels… or evil dictator of all squirrels, with there amazing abilities to climb trees and chatter insistently , as well as his special flying brigade, Dr. Hardvick will soon having the world leaders trembling at his feet.
Slow and steady is the only way to pull off the squirrel shocker
What The F Is This???? pt. 5: Nerdist’s First Attempt At Hampster Olympics
“I give the ASK Proxima C175 projector a 85%. The RS232 connection isn’t very reliable, and I suspect they fudged how many lumens it can actually put out. 2,000 max? I doubt it. So for all intents and purposes I should give it a much lower score. But take off the lid, and there is a delightful woodland game show taking place.”
The dramatic chipmunk strikes again, but this time with his new game show (japan only), produced by Chris Hardwick.
The Mouse brothers throw themselves onto Ritchie’s coffin in a fit of grief while Donny flies a kite, knowing in his heart that God will deliver the cheese attached to his cousin.
Feeling vengeful about getting voted off “America’s Got Talented Cheese,” Chris Hardwick exacted his revenge on the judges. For posterity and to appease his narcissistic lust, he snapped this shot just before he struck. Authorities are still seeking the whereabouts of the mice. Mr. Hardwick was questioned by PETA and released.
Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?
I think so Brain, but first we have to lose the comedian. Narf!
1 Hardwick 4 squirrels.
“Hey guys, lets put on “I wanna sex you up” and have a rave. Tempting, no?”
Come crawling faster…. Obey your master!
Earlier this week, infamous animal seducer Chris Hardwick tried to steal the attention of the mice panel at the Taxidermy Olympics by projecting a “beam-o-sex” into the camera’s lens, reflecting his sexy rays into the glassy eyes of the judges. Luckily, Donna the Squirrel was able to win over the gaze of the judges, receiving a perfect score. It’s rumored that Hardwick took her sister Donnie out to dinner later that night.
Comedian Chris Hardwick commences with campaign to literally make his dreams come true. Next week: that one he had about he and a tiny William Shatner starting their own frozen custard stand.
Katai: I actually have Shatner and the shrink ray. Ironically it’s the frozen custard I’m having difficulty acquiring.
And yes, “Shatner and The Shrink Ray” is an excellent sitcom name.
On this episode of America’s Next Top Squirrel Model, Squirrel-kira poses nude for the panel and a Hardwick is strangely aroused! *conversations off set refer to the ASPCA and Hardwick * Will Hardwick still be around for the next thrilling installment?
And this week’s Iron Chef ingredient: “Squirrel Convention Check-In Table!”
“Soon, Soon My Plans For World Domination Will Finally Come To Pass, AHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!”
Pay no attention to that nerd behind the curtain!
“…China later apologized for the apparent CGI Nerd Deity at the 2008 ‘Munk Idol Opening Ceremonies this past weekend. Officials were stated as saying, “There was no way to actually integrate the giant head of our leader without endangering both the judges, and everyone inside Peanut Stadium.”
The mighty rodent god motions towards what was to be the three blind mice’s last supper-urging his malevolent squirrel minion to do the nasty job quickly-thus sealing the doom of the differently abled mice in a shiny golden stream of death
Behold- Richard Gere’s colon!
Hard n’ Phirm – Behind the Music : Sex, Alcohol, Rodents
Most knew him as the witty co-host of Singled Out, but since going off the air Hardwick’s career had tragically gone downhill. Depression and financial ruin lead him to take the only gigs available. Seen here during his 1998 Venice beach period Hardwick tries to wow the boardwalk crowds with his live 3 card monte mice act.
Abracadabra! Abracadbra I say!
“Congratulations! You have reached the end of the internet!!!”
or
“I knew Dave Seville, and you sir, are NO Dave Seville”
the dangers of five years without a drink become painfully apparent.
This is obviously the nerdist’s inside edition interview with “Dramatic Hamster” (DUH DUH DUUUUHHH!!!) and his adorable little Chill’dens
what we can see here seems to be Bill o’ Riley’s way of getting all of his handy tricks to make the news even better!!
like Rabies!!
Still frustrated that his project won Fourth Place in the Appalachian Science Booth at the 1982 Knoxville World’s Fair, the Nerdist brings his diorama to every damn party, and rambles on about squirrels as a viable alternate energy source.
In his free time, Nerd God Chris Hardwick likes to play Rod Serling as he reenacts his favorite episodes of The Twilight Zone with his rodent taxidermy collection, including the one shown:”To Serve Mice.”
Chris Hardwick in “The Pied Pipper of West Hollywood.”
“i have too much free time and no human friends… but look at my rodents!”
No, Michael, it’s not my trick…
[Ron Howard Voice Over: On the next "the nerdist"...]
It’s my ILLUSION!!!
(it’s the eyes! the eyes!)
(vague Arrested Development Season 3 reference, sorry)
Chris Hardwick has just used his new Transfiguration App on his jesus phone to change all of the AOTS staff into small rodents. The fate of the show lies with him…prepare for the Nerdist revolution!
And the next piece of art: iStuff squirrels by Chris Hardwick.
Man, prop comics get no love on “Last Rodent Standing.”
or
Guest Choreographer Chris Hardwick’s avant garde piece did not go over so well with the judges on “So You Think You Can Gnaw.”
Paula Squirrel always like the contestants. Randy Squirrel says “Dog” a lot. Simon Squirrel hates you and your ugly face.
“After weeks of arguing, photographic evidence finally came to light proving once and for all that G4 cameras did indeed capture images of Defcon 16 attendees.”
On this season of Celebracadabra!
One of these beautiful rodents is really a man!
All I’ve got is an Ed Wood reference:
“Pull the strings! Pull the string!”
(this should be read aloud in a Bela Lugosi accent if at all possible)
*shrug*
Christopher Hardwick a popular “nerd” comedian and former host of MTV’s Singled Out, was arrested today on charges of animal molestation and crack cocaine possession.
The arrest came after staff, working on a new show for Animal Planet, a cable tv channel dedicated to Animals, found Mr.Hardwick and a 4year old chipmunk named “Mr.Chippers” fornicating in a janitor’s closet.
Producers of the show say they hired Mr. Hardwick to host the half hour program, after he submitted a very moving essay about the importance Animal/Human relationships.
“We could have never known that he was being literal” said Simon Gould one of the shows producers, referring to the essay Chris wrote in which he describes a world where “people can love their animal companions freely and entirely, without fear of persecution”.
A spokesman for Mr. Hardwick had no comment on the charges.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I will leave this decision up to you, the audience. Which of these four cute and cuddly lil guys shall I make disappear up buttocks first?!”
*whispers to self, “please pick one of the small ones. please!”
That effing squirrel couldn’t resist picture-crashing Hardwick’s only picture with the judges.
Yes, the rodent is pulling the string, but who is the hand that feeds the rodents? Chris, the God behind the curtains.
“After weeks of arguing, photographic evidence finally came to light proving once and for all that G4 cameras did indeed capture images of Defcon 16 attendees.”
Posted by: Michael | August 21, 2008 at 05:52 PM
- This one gets my vote.
The cover for the new book “Producing Plays With Taxidermy” by C. Hardwick.
There was a general panic today at the Gerbil-Con 2008 registration table as the Guest of Honor, Ted Gerbil – seen here playing a magic harmonica) mistook Attack of the Show’s Chris Hardwick for Runaway Bride’s Richard Gere.
{ 1 trackback }