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Air Travelers! Masturbate To Internet Flash-Porn In The Privacy Of Seat 8F!

Airplane_finger_3

Delta Airlines has announced that it will be adding Wi-Fi to its domestic fleet thanks to a telecom company called Aircell. Combined with the mediocre customer service the Atlanta-based company has been cultivating for the past several years, the new Internet access will help Delta complete its plan to make customers feel like they are trapped in a crappy café. Delta joins other Aircell clients American & Virgin in the race to charge for wireless web access in addition to allowing passengers the privilege of paying for premium services like eating and bringing luggage.

Wireless Fidelity will cost $9.95 for flights less than three hours and $12.95 for longer flights. In a move that seems totally reasonable and just, you don’t pay per trip but rather per actual flight, which means that if you change planes you’ll get the pleasure of paying twice.

High praise yet again goes to soaring fuel costs and the slowly snapping fibers that are keeping the entire airline industry dangling precariously just out of bankruptcy’s ravenous reach. For more pretentious imagery, please consult the mythical story of
Tantalus.

 

Via [InformationWeek]

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8 comments

  • wait, virgin america is an aircell customer too? omgwtfkbbq, then what is the point of those ethernet ports that they get all braggy about?

    still, i’d say that virgin is hands-down the best end-to-end domestic airline experience i’ve had.

  • I noticed that the pic of the airplane is titled “airplane_finger_3.” Does this mean there are at least two other “airplane_fingers” on your computer somewhere?

  • Why don’t they just install wireless cards in our heads and USB ports coming out of our arms so we ALWAYS have Internet access!?!! Flying in a plane is one of the rare excuses I get to NOT check my email and NOT get phone calls…

  • Yeah, I agree that it is a rip-off to pay per flight. But now my iPod touch (yeah, unfortunately I don’t have an iPhone) will actually be useful when I’m traveling. So that’s a benefit.
    And I guess it’s not too incredibly expensive, but it could add up.