Nintendo E3 Announcements
by Chris Hardwick on July 15, 2008
Coming to a Nintendo device near you sometime later this year:
Wii-nouncements
Shaun White Snowboarding
-Apparently Shaun White is an Olympic gold medalist
-works with the balance board
Animal Crossing
-It’s a sim
-Morgan Webb refused to stop professing her love for it
-will integrate WiiSpeak, a microphone accessory that lets you talk to other players WITH YOUR VOICE
Star Wars: The Clone Wars
-looked good, from the limited amount of footage I saw
-Xmas! (Why is it always based on Christian holidays? Why don’t they ever announce release dates like, “Super Mario Kart will be released sometime this Yom Kippur.”)
Rayman: Raving Rabbids
-it’s much easier if you just go here
Call of Duty: World at War
-Upside: use your Wiimote like a gun!
-Downside: you may look like a dork doing so
WiiSports Resort
-resort and water-themed sports, e.g., jet skiing
-uses other big announcement, MotionPlus
-accessory that comes with this game and dramatically increases the sensitivity and planar motion of the Wiimote
WiiMusic
DS-timonials
Guitar Hero: On Tour
-cLeVeR TiTlE
-mini guitar pad hooks onto your DS
Spore
-DS version
some Pokemon game or other
Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars
-new characters
-new stories
-same old freewheelin’, whore-stompin’ goodness but new portability proves to others what a poor parent you are when your kid plays it in public
In the works for the DS
-a companion for flight, baggage & travel info IN THE REAL WORLD
-a cookbook program
-some type of interactive program for that sports stadium in Seattle that I don’t know the name of because I don’t give a crap about sports
In the works for the undefinable future
-a new Mario game
-a new Zelda
So those are the haps. A lot of you rabid gamers are all whiny about not being serviced by anything mindblowing, but that is because you are spoiled. If you really want to see hard core action scoop your taco-heavy ass out of that couch dent and join the Army.
More E3 coverage tomorrow from the exhibition floor…
The only reason I read your blog every day is because I hope you will talk about Pokemon, and you just gloss right over it …
That’s right, Mindy! Maybe I don’t gotta catch ‘em all!
Chris,
The reason why video games aren’t released on Yom Kippur is because there is nothing exciting about that holiday whatsoever. I should know because I grew up Jewish. P.S do you know anything about that game “Sadness” for Wii? Is it ever going to come out?
Hey, give the Pokemon their due otherwise I’ll rock your face off with my level 100 bred and EV-trained Arcanine with supplement-boosted stats AND Heatwave.